Monday, June 30, 2008

Heat Tingles

When I got into my car this afternoon, the thermometer said it was 114....and there were clouds. I knew it would cool off a bit, but the cloud thing bothered me. Unless it rained (which it rarely does in Nevada), the clouds just add a dose of humidity to the air...which is superheated....and then my world as I know it starts to tingle. I've actually had some heat issues in the past. Playing tennis at 3pm in July/August makes me dizzy after awhile. Golf from 2pm anytime in the summer when the sun is out makes my body tingle....sort of in a cold, goose-bumpy way. Times like this, I forget where I parked my car.

Anyway, it cooled down to 108 and I was home by 5:15 today to let the dogs out and jump in the pool to cool off since JANAE IS STILL GONE. Luckily, Coco came today and spiffed up the house, cleaned out the fridge, and make everything look beautiful. She didn't run the laundry though....hmmmmnnnn.... We did start this cool service for dry cleaning a few weeks ago. Usually we would drop our stuff off at the dry cleaners and go pick it up a few days later. Not with Lakes Cleaners you don't! You put all your stuff in a blue bag that they furnish, hang it on your front door Monday morning, and the stuff magically comes back Wednesday all cleaned and pressed. Shirts, suits, pants, and what not. The best. You won't catch me wearing wrinkled shirts like Davey.

Jake sent some good pictures to us today in his email from Ecuador. He is doing great. He did send a picture of an AWESOME looking beach. I told him to have a real estate agent send me some info.....on his pday of course. I thinking, I know Spanish, I like the beach.....why not Ecuador? For what I pay to rent out a joint in Oceanside for 2 weeks each summer, I could probably put a downpayment on a beach house in South America. Viva Sud America! I could live off the ocean. As long as they had satellite tv WITH the NFL channel, and US network feeds. Can't miss DWTS, American Idol, or The Bachelor, etc...Oh, and diet pepsi too. Gotta have some coca-light.

Be cool.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Confrontation on the Course

I did some errands for my dear mother this morning and then headed up to TPC to hit some golf balls.

As expected, I felt so good after hitting a pyramid of balls, I told Toni in the golf shop I'd like to go out.

She asked, "Would you mind playing with Mr. Barber?"

"Nope, that'll be fine," I said.

Skip, who is the starter, met us on the #1 tee. He spied the first hole through squinty, marlboro-cured eyes, and barked, "Start on #2, there are 2 foursomes here on #1."

"Thanks Skip," I replied, and sped off right behind Bill Barber.

As we went past the green on #1, the guys lining up their putts hollered, "Go to #3!"

We ignored them and proceeded to the tee box on #2 just as the starter had told us to do.

We both ripped drives right down the center of the fairway. Bill, who had his own cart, sped to his ball first, pulled out an iron, and knocked it about 10 feet from the stick. I was just lining up to hit my ball when a ball came bouncing down the fairway. It was the guys behind us "making a statement."

I didn't take kindly to this and uttered, "This aggression will not stand.MAN."

I struck my ball and thanks to being pumped up, I put it about 20 feet past the hole. I drove to the green and then decided to go back and make sure they weren't going to hit into us again while we were on the green.

The jawing started pretty much the second I turned around and headed back to them. It was me against these 2 black dudes (the entire foursome was made up of African's). About 100 feet away, I hollered, "Why are you hitting into us?"

The leader of the group said, "Why did you cut in front of us?"

I replied, "Because the starter told us to go to #2."

We were about thisclosetogether. It reminded me of the fights umpires and baseball managers would have.

He goes, "I'm not afraid of you."

I replied, "You want to get after it right now?"

His brother was standing about 10 feet away and I pressed on. "Why did you hit into us? We are a two-some and would have been gone in another 10 seconds."

"You should have asked us to play through," he said.

I replied, "Not when the starter told us to go to #2."

Now I'm really getting pissed. I got about 6 inches away from the dude and said, "If you hit into us again, I am going to take your ball and shove it up your ass."

Uh..oh....He became ENRAGED when I said and bellowed, "What did you just say?"

"You heard exactly what I said!"

He yells back, "I'm not afraid of you."

I replied, "And you think I'm afraid of you? Bring it on." I did have a pitching wedge in my hand, and my mother-of-pearl grip 45 caliber automatic pistol in my golf bag a few feet away so I wasn't too worried about the black guy in linen pants, and a polo shirt.

The 3rd guy enters the fracas and says, "Everybody just cool it." He had a "USC Trojans" golf shirt on.

I said again, "Don't hit into us man, that is not cool."

Meanwhile, Mr. Barber, the guy I was playing with had slinked up to the 3rd hole. He was no help whatsoever although he did make some funny comments later on.

I putted out, and played on.....we never saw them again. I found out later why.

The marshall came by about 3 holes later and said, "What the hell happened?"

He then immeidately said, "Are you guys okay?" As if 4 black guys on a golf course posed an immediate threat to life and limb.

Apparently the group was asked to leave after 9 holes which can only mean this: Don't cross King Keith.I remained pretty fired up for most of the round and hit alot of approach shots LONG.

I ended up going 39-38. It was a ho-hum 77. Not one birdie either. Must have rimmed the cup at least 5 times too.

I got home and jumped in the pool to cool off since I was cookin'. I sucked down on a lemon-lime gatorade and felt very refreshed....then the phone rang.

It was some dude looking for Janae and selling food storage.

I said that Janae was in Australia for the next couple of weeks and that we had plenty of food storage. He pressed forward with his sales pitch despite my statement of "being good."

I then said "You know, I have A TON of gift cards to Jack-in-th-Box, Macayo's, and Flemmings," in case something comes up. That obviously made no sense but I was just having fun with him. As if the world was crashing down around us, I would order at the drive through at Jacko's....or enjoy a sit-down filet at Flemmings. He wasn't getting it - he was reading right off of a script.

Then I said, "You know, I have alot of guns and ammunition too, so I don't think I'm too worried about getting something to eat." He says, "Oh, are you a hunter?"

"Noooooo, not really. I'll just use my guns to make sure my family has food." I know that's not the politically correct thing to say, but if Albertsons of Vons runs out of doritos, ground beef, and diet pepsi, then I'll take whatever means necessary to get it.

Oh, and if you are my friend, I will make sure you have plenty of food too. I am nothing if not loyal. Semper Fidelis. Yeah, I have alot of ammo and am a very good shot.

So today was confrontational. I can't say I liked it, but I can't I necessarily disliked it. Things come at us each day. We need to be prepared to stand up for what we believe in. We need to be loyal to those things we hold dear. If I'm your friend, I've got your back. No matter what. You can count on me.

Friday, June 27, 2008

75....with a Bullet

I played today with Mike and started today's round off well....birdie on #1 (admittedly #1 is an easy hole). In between my rollercoaster ride was tame compared to yesterday. I did make birdie on #17 and #18 to beat Mike by 1 shot in my most competitive round probably EVER.

Mike actually birdied 4 holes in a row to shoot a 35 on the front. That was an AMAZING display of golf prowess and I seriously doubt I will ever see that feat accomplished again. 4 in a round? Sure. Easy. 4 in a row? Did hell freeze over?

Mike doubled 15 and 16 to let me back in as I made par on those holes....then my two birdies sealed it. 75 and another personal best on that course. I plan on working out some things on the range tomorrow, and then hopefully going 36.....or even 72 holes if I could be so blessed.

I enjoy playing with Mike. He's a good golfer, plays at a good pace, stays out of the way when I'm swinging, and is generous with his "gimme" putts. All of these traits are critical in a golf partner. Mike passes this test as do Wade, Steve and a few others. It's tough to find guys who don't email and talk on their phones between every shot, or look for their golf ball longer than 10 seconds (I will buy you a new one). My Doc says I need to relax when I play - with a few of the fellas, I actually get to do that. Thanks dudes.

I made ANOTHER trip to my mom's house after golf to put together her umbrella. As always, whatever my mother purchases, there is always something that happens which makes even the smallest task seem like a NASA project. As usual, I ended up with extra washers, screws, bolts, etc....I just pocket them since my mom would grill me like a Nazi if I left them out. "What are those for? Why didn't you use those? Will the umbrella still work?" You could see steam coming out of my ears if you looked closely. I love my mom though. She loaded me up with 3 nights worth of food since Janae remains some 9000 miles away for the next 8 days. Between me and the dogs, we'll polish this stuff off tonight.

Tomorrow is wide open. I'll check out some Wimbledon tennis and think about last year when we wuz in London. I like London alot but the currency exchange rate is so out of whack, I don't think I'll ever go back. Wimbledon is quaint and a good 30 minute ride from downtown. It's in the suburbs and everything is manicured just perfect. It's actually a bit too staid. Having been to the US Open and Roland Garros (aka French Open) as well, my vote for the best tournament to attend is, easily, Roland Garros. I love the French. I love Paris...the restaurants, museums, its history, etc.....I also found the French people to be very kind. They are unfairly portrayed as snobs.....they are people, just like us, trying to do the best they can in a crazy world.

Janae! We miss you! The fridge is empty but that's okay. Have fun in Australia and we look forward to seeing updated photos on your blog each day! I hope the bungee jump went well. WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Quick Take

Worked until 2pm then hit the course and FLEW around that place in 2 1/2 hours. I didn't warm up and after the 3rd hole I was 3 over, but then I settled into a decent tempo. Still, an 82 is a relatively poor round and I need to work on some things. I'm playing again tomorrow afternoon so we'll see what happens. I'm down to a 6.6 and with that, I'm quite capable of shooting a 75 just as easily as an 85. Strange game. Great game.

Ma came over late this afternoon right as I was getting home. We ordered Outback takeout and chowed down on some meat and potatoes -my favorite food in the whole world.

Also did some re-arranging of the dog kennels tonight. We had decided a few weeks ago to move them from the mudroom next to the garage to Jake's old bedroom. There is nothing in there anymore since Hannay kiped his waterbed, and other assorted scavengers took some of this and some of that....and what not....I'm sure the dogs will be all confused for a few days, but at least they are at the far end of the house and won't bark each time a cat climbs through the kitty door and they all started to howl. This drove me crazy at 6am....or at 4am....

The crew has made contact from Australia - see Janae's blog for update and pictures. Those cats are tall. Is it just me or does Alyssa look in love?

We leave for 2 weeks at the beach in like 34 days. By this time of the year, the constant 108's have started to get on my nerves. I need to cool it down and a dose of San Diego is always a good prescription. Our insurance group is down there right now at the annual conference but I bagged it this year. The conference has become too impersonal and too gigantic. Give me 4 hours with a couple of company guys on the golf course and we could hammer out all sorts of agreements.

Can't wait to golf Friday and pull 36 on Saturday. I love this game.


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Janae in Australia

The group finally made it to Australia after 16+ hours of flying. No way I could do that unless I had a first class ticket and could lie down and watch sports, sleep,have a massage and grill up some hamburgers.

It is quite possible that I would freak out being stuck in an aluminum tube for that length of time. I did LA-Paris in business class a number of times and that is 10 hours going and 11 coming back. Atlanta to Lima was also 7+. Barely managed on those trips. I stumbled out of the airport in LA just wanting to be home but still had to do the LA-Vegas leg. This is why going east to Europe works with Virgin Air although their planes are essentially buses with wings. Filthy too. Why can't anyone build a decent bathroom on an airplane? They are still using designs from the 1960's. I feel sorry for women since they have to sit down amid all that filth and stench.

The whole crossing the International Date Line is trippy too. Janae left on Monday and landed their on Wednesday. Coming home, she will get back before she left....and I don't go in any plane that engages in time travel. No way no how.

So it's just me and the animals here at home. Jake and Alec are in Ecuador and Salt Lake City, respectively. I was too lazy to even do Outback takeout last night and just crashed at home reading some interesting books....part of my summer reading program (inside joke).

One of the books I'm reading now is, "The God Delusion," by Richard Dawkins. He's an atheist/scientist who espouses the law of natural selection versus creation. It is a fascinating book that takes a look at life on earth from an entirely different perpective from what I believe in. I know some people would question why I would even read such a book. I think its important to be familar with conflicting points of view....even as divergent as Dawkin's belief that the earth is the proverbial "needle in the haystack" of planets that exist in the galaxy that hold the necessary building blocks for life, and came about as a cosmic coincidence. He accurately points out that our place in the universe is all about the chemistry, and physics being properly aligned. We just have different beliefs about how the chemistry and physics were established. He makes some decent arguments that are deeply thought provoking. It is the age-old debate of creation versus evolution. He did make an interesting point though.....Imagine a world without religion: no suicide bombers, no 9/11, no Israeli-Palestine conflict, no witch hunts, no crusades....There sure has been a lot of death over religion. Why can't we all just get along?

The other book is the "The World Without Us," by Alan Weisman. In this book, the author takes a look at what the world would look like if mankind suddenly disappeared.....for whatever reason (he doesn't get into why this would happen- (plague, war...use your imagination). In two days the NY subways would flood, in 40 years our neighborhood houses would have collapsed from the absence of maintenance, in 300 years bridges would have collapsed from rust, in 250,000 years NYC would look like a meadow with no signs whatsoever of human life. Sure it's a speculative piece, but it's hypnotic reading. The History Channel also did something like this earlier this year and I happened to watch it.

Check Janae's blog later in the week for photos and stories from down under.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Mercury Rising

Wow was it cookin' today in Las Vegas....When I got into my car at 2pm, the thermometer said it was 115, and after I got going, it cooled down to a comfy 105.

Teed off at 2:30 and thanks to my golf lesson the other day (BO KNOWS GOLF), I was able to pull off a 76 and pretty much pull a Celtics on my competition. Not even close. The match was essentially over at the turn - beating my partners by 9 and 14 shots respectively was a beat-down of Beantown proportions. I love golf.

I took a half-hour lesson at the club a few days ago. I had the feeling I was just a hair off on some things and my shots weren't as crip as I wanted them to be. It turned out my alignment/setup wasn't quite right....just a skosh off. Bo changed my stance by a few millimeters, and by grip by MAYBE 10 degrees. That day I went 79. Today I switched to putting left-handed (something I did last year for about 6 months) and rolled the ball great. Putting lefty easy saved me 2 or 3 shots.

The downside of this is that I was COOKING by the time the round ended. I raced home, and flopped in the pool and sank to the bottom to cool off. Whew. We ordered some Outback for dinner and will wait for the kids to finish up the wedding rehearsal dinner they're at for Destiny and Chase. We look forward to seeing them.


Oil is at $124 bucks a barrel (a barrel = 42 gallons)

2% Milk? $147 bucks a barrel

Tropicana Orange Juice: $226

Bud Light: $302

Louisiana Hot Sauce: $520

Jack Daniel's Whiskey: $3,368

Chanel No. 5 Perfume: $102,144

And we have to FIND the oil first, then DRILL for it, then PUMP it to the surface and get it to a refinery.

Maybe, just maybe, we've been UNDERPAYING for gas for our entire lives.

Something to think about.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Phantom of the Opera

Tonight we went to the Venetian and saw "Phantom of the Opera." This was a gift we gave my mom for her 70th birthday. We had great seats - 2nd row right smack in the middle. I like to see 'em sweat.

The show was great and it was of course driven by the wonderful and powerful music of Andrew Lloyd Webber (I call him "Lord Webber" for short and use a British accent to really spiff it up - if you know what I mean).

The show is Vegas is only 90 minutes long - they do this to get everyone back out into the casino as fast as possible - it's true, look it up. In New York, the show will play for 3 hours and have a couple of intermissions. My back would walk out by itself if I tried to pull a 3 hour sitdown for a theater show.

Besides the $5 dollar diet cokes and the fact that the female lead (Christine) was absolutely cross-eyed, I really have no negative comments. Okay, the Phantom looked alittle strange too - not because he was the phantom, but he was really short. You expect a tall, studley guy with 1/2 a bad face and a pony tail to play the character and not some short little weasel, but I'll give the dude props - he sure could sing.

I picked up on Christine's cross-eyedness right off the bat. Janae turned to me about 20 minutes into the show, and whispered,

"Is it me or does Christine always looked cross-eyed?" I immediately went cross-eyed myself and she nearly spit up her diet coke on the conducter.

Each time she looked at me for the rest of the show I had to look back cross-eyed. It's part of my never maturing past age 16. If you are around me long enough, you just learn to deal with it. Right honey bunny?

Political Update

I know, I know,for most of you...YAWN...but my posterity NEEDS to now how passionate I am about all things republican and good and tax free so when they are riding bicycles around in 50 years, they will know I at least fought for them.

The following Obama quote appeared on the front page of the Wall Street Journal…it’s not like this is some Internet email rumor…an ACTUAL quote:

“Globalization and technology and automation all weaken the position of workers,” he said, and a strong government hand is needed to assure that wealth is distributed more equitably." Can you spell out M A R X I S M any better than that? I mean, we can have kids recite the Communist Manifesto instead of the Pledge of Allegiance each morning.

DEMOCRATS want to nationalize health care. That's nothing new, Bill Clinton wanted to do this back in the mid-1990's.

DEMOCRATS said yesterday that they want to NATIONALIZE oil and gas production so that price control can be regulated. What about the free market system?

Does anyone else out there in blogville realize how dangerous this sort of talk is? What's next? Nationalize the airlines?

We are creeping down the wrong path folks.

Why is gasoline is crippling the working class right now? Because we have put off drilling in Alaska, drilling offshore, and drilling in the Green River Basin that spans THREE states (Utah, Colorado, Wyoming) and allow foreign oil to essentially regulate our economy. Supply and demand. Econ 101

Green River Basin = 2.8 to 3.3 TRILLION barrels of oil (it's actually known as Kerogen but we'll call it crude oil anyway, ok? - works the same, different refining process iz all).

So here's where we are....

The Saudi's fund the ENVIRONMENTALISTS.

The ENVIRONMENTALISTS contribute to the DECOMCRATS political campaigns.

The DEMOCRATS lead the charge to save the WHALES, FERNS, the spotted OWLS, BUTTERFLIES, MOOSE, CARIBOU and all the other silly things democrats worry about that are excuses for not drilling. And now we're at $4.50 a gallon....with a bullet....

I can afford $4.50 a gallon. I'm concerned about the people who can't afford $3.50 a gallon. This is not a party issue - this is a national crisis. President Bush asked Congress to reconsider drilling in the aforementioned areas. Even with their approval, we won't see oil for at least 3 years.

How we got to this point is irrelevant really - I mean whatever wasn't done in the past cannot be changed, but moving forward, we should exploit our own resources and not be as dependent on those with oil who hate our guts.

I know that from Jimmy Carter on, President's have played political football with the Arctic Wildlife Preserve in Alaska. Allow me to say this, and I believe I speak for most Americans: We don't care about a pristine wilderness we will never see.

Given a choice, I suspect most citizens would want lower gas prices that knowing that wilderness (it's called wilderness for a reason folks) areas are protected and nice and quiet. It's a good idea but reality is when your fillup stops at a hundred bucks.

Must I run for office to fix this stuff?

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Playing 18 with J-Dog

I had the pleasure today of playing golf with Justin Hales at TPC Summerlin. We planned our golf excursion a week or so ago, and I'm glad nothing came up to spoil it....and the wind subsided as well.

The round was highlighted by Justin's confrontation with the UFC Fighter-looking-dude on #17. Way to go J-Dog! Afterward, Janae joined us in the dining room and we feasted on Chef Phil's prime rib buffet. TO DIE FOR.

I mention this day, this outing, for a few reasons.....Justin and our youngest son Jake grew up together. The kids they all ran with were and are good young men and young women. Most of the boys are serving missions for our church right now all over the world. The friendships that they made as toddlers grew as they got older, and they became forever bonded through silly and stupid acts that only teenagers can do.

Every now and then a "story" is told that I was previously unaware how they would sneak out from our basement in the middle of the night on sleepovers and go over to Derfelt Elementary to goof around. All the while the King of the House (me) was sound asleep. Who knew?

There are too many boys and girls to name individually and I would not want to leave even one name off the list, but suffice to say that my boys are who they are not solely because of my wife, or their teachers....they are good young men BECAUSE they chose their friends wisely. They helped each other along the slippery slope that is adolescence one step at at time. We included them in our family trips to the beach, ski/snowboard excursions, dinners, barbeque's, and all sorts of adventures. To us, they were part of our family. We will be forever grateful for their friendship and their example.

To you young parents out there who read this - I truly hope that your house becomes the house the kids like to be at like ours became. We knew where our kids were at night - they were home....with their incredible friends. Sure they ate and drank us out of house and home some weekends but I wouldn't have it any other way. I did try and get their social security numbers that one year to claim them as dependents but Janae talked me out of it.

Growing up is hard. Peer pressure can be tough. Here's a tip of the hat to Justin and to all the boys and girls who helped Jake become the man he is.


From the Sports Desk

How about that 39 point blowout last night? The Celtics put a hurt on the Lakers. The point spread is sufficient that I don't even have to add any supplemental trash talk. We all know who the best team in the NBA is.

I did cringe like the rest of America though when Kevin Garnett went all ghetto while being interviewed by Michelle Tafoya after the game. What was he SAYING? Me thinks his SAT score was A LOT lower than Kobe's. Scary.

As the game winded down,I was hoping to see Kobe explode into red vapor due to being so angry. You know, go into that Bobby Knight "danger" zone where the blood pressure red lines. I'm pretty sure I saw Kobe leave the court pointing to his teammates, coaches, and general manager, "You're fired, you're fired, and you are definitely FIRED." But that's just me - maybe my lip reading needs work.

The big news today is that Tiger needs major knee surgery and will miss the rest of the season. That loud croaking sound you heard around 9am was the collective groan of tournament directors all over the world seeing their gate decrease by 50%. Who wants to watch a tournament without Tiger?

In retrospect, he beat the best players in the world on one leg. I'm pretty sure he could beat me blindfolded.

With the NBA finals ending, and the US Open over with we enter the "dead zone." this is simply where meaningful sporting events are few and far between. That is until September when college football and pro football return.

Sure we have a tennis tournament here and there, the British Open and the PGA....but they mean nothing without Tiger. I may not even watch. Baseball? The highlights all look the same; guys just racing around bases. And we are tortured by ESPN when they show baseball highlights on Sportscenter AND follow that up with Baseball Tonight. Enough already.

The Olympics are this year - coming to us from China beginning in August. I'm not a big Olympic guy for several reasons. First of all - waaaaay to many sports. Second - waaay too many fans if you go there live, and if you don't, the time change from China is like what, 2 1/2 days? We went to Atlanta for the 1996 games and sat next to some sweaty Europeans, I WANTED them to light up a smoke they smelled so bad. People everywhere.

Seriously, we don't run backwards so why do they give a medal for swimming backwards?
Hammer throw? How about 3 legged sack race? Darts? Bowling? why are these not in the games? I know, I'm jaded. Give me track and field, swimming,(select events only) cycling, rowing (but not kayaking or yachting) and basketball. Gymnastics? Nope. Scoring is too subjective. Weightlifting is okay too.... Horsejumping? Nope. Volleyball? Only if they let kickball in. Did skateboarding make it this year?

See what I'm saying? They've diluted the medal pool. I also don't like the idea of giving out silver or bronze medals. If you aren't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. 2nd place means you lost.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Art of Napping

I love to take naps.

I've been a nap-taker since my early twenties....always on the weekends, and since about my late 30's, I sometimes take a nap at work during the week. I have a couch in my office and I'll tell my assistant to keep people away for 15 to 20 minutes so I can grab some shut-eye - usually in the mid-afternoon. When I was crazy-tired from sleep apnea I was always taking a nap in my office but never felt refreshed afterward. Now that I have my sleep problem tackled, I usually take a quick cat-nap two, maybe three times a week now. 15 minutes tops. I wake up refreshed and ready to grind through the rest of the afternoon.

And weekend naps? Always good unless the phone rings. Usually well intended church folks call....and call....and's why I just answer my cell phone and I usually turn that off so I can snooze.

Sunday naps are also better than Saturday naps, since Saturday means trips to Lowe's, Star Nursery, Golf Galaxy....harder to slow down on Saturday. It's a free day, and I typically don't turn things off until late in the afternoon. Sunday? Other than church, I do nothing but rest. I am a world-class "rester."

Vacation naps? The very best. I have this down.

Janae and I aren't the type of vacationers who go on bus tours with dozens of other people from the crack of dawn to sundown visiting dozens of sites. Nah. We may take a cab or have a driver take us to someplace cool, then come right back to the pool/beach/hotel.

A typical vacation day means sleeping in, rolling out to the beach/pool around 11am. Ordering some lunch around 1pm, going for a swim in the ocean (after waiting 1/2 hour) and plowing through a few hundred pages of a novel. I return to the room between 4 and 4:30, shower, put the fluffy robe on, lotion up, and fall asleep for at least an hour. Then it's time for dinner. And I often don't mind just grabbing some room service, watching a movie, reading some more and the goin BACK to sleep.

This is one reason why I'm not going to Australia with Janae & Company. Janae is going with a girlfriend and her daughter along with a group of rebel supporters and the rebel basketball team. UNLV is playing 3 or 4 exhibition games down under and there are tours planned, and alot of movement from one city to the next. Not my style. I unpack once, and that's it. If anything, I am a creature of habit. Cruises are okay since the ship moves at night and eliminates the need to pack and unpack to see different cities. The last cruise we did was Alaska and that was outstanding - better than I could have ever imagined. The Panama Canal was the best though - going through the lock system with a 1000 foot long ship was pretty cool.

I hope that everyone takes time to make time for meditate, nap, turn off the phone/ turn off the world, even if it's just for 10 or 15 minutes a day. You will feel better. Trust me.

Comments Anyone?

I heard from more than a few friends that "commenting" on the blog was too tedious...having to fill out google stuff and so forth. Well.....that's all changed. I went to my profiles page and clicked the box that said "Anyone can comment." This is akin to my becoming a computer programmer.

I don't change ANYTHING on computers or cell phones and I have a rule about touching my stuff, just like Psycho from the movie "STRIPES" said, "I don't like no one touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you." You get the message. And wasn't "Stripes" a great movie? Bill Murray was off-the-charts funny in that film. I love that guy - drunk golf cart driving and all included. The world needs more funny people don't you think?

Okay so I decided to leave the absolute boredom of the office and go hit some golf balls this afternoon.. maybe even squeeze in a lesson with Bo who has no know, to fine tune some things but also to teach Bo to lighten up.

WHOA NELLIE! Just a few modifications to KAR's swing, club shaft (need regular not stiff), alignment and what not, and I'm in the ZONE. I bought a new driver that gives me an extra 30 yards off the tee - I listened to the guy drone on and on about spin ratio's, launch angles and trajectory crap you would have thought we were launching a missle. Here's the deal: Just like with TV....I don't care HOW it works, just that it works FOR ME. IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.

New irons will be in the bag within a week. I LOVE THIS GAME.

Hot and sweaty from ripping through a pyramid of balls on the range, I sped home, tore off my clothes, put a swimsuit on and jumped in the pool...AND FROZE. What's the deal with Vegas being 105 degrees, but when I get in the pool my bits and pieces are freezing to death? It's like the Pacific Ocean. We go there each summer and all the guys slowy... creep....into....the....water....SIDEWAYS! Since it's easier on the privates that way. We are silly creatures. And don't get me started on the Pacific Ocean.....some years we swim in Root Beer colored water and other years in green water. Who says the ocean is blue? It's blue in Hawaii and in the Caribbean, but it's NEVER blue in Southern Cal. And how about the beaches that don't allow dogs to play on them? As if the whales, and sharks and fish use a bathroom? C'mon, dogs are cool and they will do their business in the ocean just like everyone else including me.

Game time in 30 minutes.

He is Legend

I'm borrowing this title from ESPN's home refers to Tiger Woods.

Of all the professional golfers Tiger had to beat to win the US Open, he first had to limp into competitive golf for the first time in 2 months. All the other players have been playing against each other week in and week out while Tiger parked his spaceship here in Las Vegas to have his knee worked on by Keith Kleven.

For sure it was the best US Open I've seen and my pals that joined me in Kaly were equally impressed. I also got to text Jake back and forth on Monday for a spell while he was in Ecuador....I gave him the shot by shot detail of what Tiger and Rocco were doing on hole #18 and the first sudden-death playoff hole.

Can the Celtics clinch tonight? See, it's not just me....the following is an excerpt from Bill Simmon's post on ESPN today:

"Speaking of the Zen Master, for someone who's allegedly the best coach of his generation, how could he not figure out how to stop the high screen with Pierce and KG in Game 5, and why can't he figure out a way to get Kobe going in this series? Throw in the disrespectful way Kobe treats him during games -- Damon's crew was shocked by that running subplot, by the way -- and is anyone else starting to wonder if Jackson coaches the Lakers just because they pay him a ton of money and he's dating the owner's daughter and that's it? I mean, he can't LIKE most of these guys, right? He sure doesn't seem like he's enjoying these games, that's for sure. Do you think he goes home after every Lakers game, pours himself a glass of wine, lights up a Cuban, watches one of the old Bulls games from the '90s and just fights back tears for an hour or so thinking about how much he hates coaching Kobe? You wouldn't rule it out, right?"

Seriously, Kobe is the anti-Jordan....the evil person.

Jake's doing great in Ecuador. His pals have all pretty much left on their missions over the past 6 months with the exception of J-Dog Hales who will be serving in Peru (my second homeland, well, maybe third after Mexico) in the fall. I am fired up that he is serving where my dark skinned brothers live. I did a "holla" in Espanol on Friday to Andres Romero who is a golfer from Argentina playing in the open. I caught him at the open and shouted in Spanish, "AAAANDRESSSSS!!!!! Vamanos!!!!" He looked up and smiled at me and gave me the universal, "Iz all good" sign with a thumbs up. Me and Andres arelikethisclosenow.

The wind is still blowing. Is it just me or does the wind not bother anyone else? I actually went online last night looking for places to move where the wind doesn't blow. Since her release from YW's last Sunday Janae said maybe it's time to roll up the tent and move. I'm up for an adventure.

Janae leaves for Australia next Monday for two weeks.....without me. I will miss her but in her honor, I have decided to have Outback takeout each night she is gone. And Janae, don't forget to check to see if the water goes downt he drain counterclockwise like it did in Peru. I NEED TO KNOW THIS.

Alec and Tiffany are coming down this weekend for Destiny's wedding.....always great to see them.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Fathers Day and Sports

Nothing brings sons and fathers together like sports. I know this because of the relationship I had with my dad, and the one I've had with my boys.

As usual, Fathers Day Sunday is always a gigantic sports day:

US Open? check
NBA Finals? check

I was at the US Open on Friday, walked the course, and saw how deep the rough is. In fact, I got lost in the rough it was so deep. Bada bing.

Since the tournament won't end until tomorrow, I can't really go overboard for either Tiger or Rocco. Whoever wins, it will be a huge story. My gut tells me that Tiger will blow the guy out - something like 78 to 71. In golf, that's an ass-kicking. It's what I will do to Davey next time we play. Bring it on DJ. Bring it on.

NBA Finals: I think that anyone who is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints cannot wish for the Lakers to be NBA champs - it's like supporting criminal behavior. Kobe Bryant - Loser. Sure he can play basketball, but if he were coming to my neighborhood, I'd hide the women and children and bring out my large caliber weapons. He's a rich thug. The guy can't speak english - uses too many words like "ain't, wuz and you know." He also has a lot of "run-on" sentences. In sum, his grammar is very poor. He probably has a rubber stamp to use when he "signs" autographs. He does have nice calves though.

And so today's sports events ended without a champ being crowned at Torrey Pines or in LA. I feel good about the Celtics closing out at home.

If they lose, I know that I will have to move.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Celtics-Lakers Game 4

Amid the hysteria surrounding the US Open I failed to comment/blog about game 4 of the NBA finals....

We're at some rowdy sports bar/restaurant in the gas lamp district of San Diego on Thursday surrounded by Laker fans. We are rooting openly for the Celtics.


This means I can get loud.

My buddy was on his 3rd yard beer which was this long bowling-pin shaped glass that held in it the golden nectar of the Gods. He too became more rowdy as the game went on....and as he quaffed his brewski.

The Lakers were blowing out the Celtics and went into the 3rd quarter with a good-sized lead. By the end of the game, Boston had eeked out a 6 point win and Kobe made an ass out of himself in the post-game interview.

The guy is a gang-banger who by the luck of genetics grew to 6 feet 6 inches. At 6 feet he is leading the fast break at San Quentin (that's a prison Susan).

I actually enjoyed watching Kobe's post game interview. He came across as stupid and insane. This hasn't been accomplised since Terrell Owens left Philadelphia 2+ years ago.

I like the Celtics to close out ths series on Sunday....

Friday, June 13, 2008

US Open Experience

I attended the US Open golf tournament yesterday. The open is being held at Torrey Pines which is about 20 mintues north of America's finest city. I'm speaking, of course, about San Diego.

Everything is nicer down there: The weather, the houses, the people, the dirt, the sky, the air, the water, the flowers, trees and bushes. EVERYTHING. The pace there is also nice. Come to think of it, I could do San Diego and it's environs. Not too shabby. Not shabby at all.

We arrived at the open around 9am, and proceeded to walk ourselves into oblivion by 4pm.

Did we see Tiger? Of course. We saw A LOT of golfers from all over the globe. We saw incredible shots made by the finest players in the world. We saw poor shots also made by the finest players the game has ever produced. It was a great experience to see the way each player made his way around the course.

The best part of the entire day however was the people watching. There were guys stomping around with their golf shoes if the tournament would need a 4th?

There were people of all shapes and sizes.

Some examples:

1. Women wearing high heels, mini-skirts, and skimpy tops. Either they rolled last night into today, or else they were just stupid. High heels on a golf course? Some did look pretty nice though....they were just out of place.

2. Guys in golf shoes. I mentioned this before, but this behavior merits special attention. Who wears golf shoes to a golf tournament? It's like people who wear their tennis outfit to a tennis tourament. It's just stupid. We laugh out loud at people like this.

3. The ugly fat guys that run in packs: they're drunk of course, and always holler, "You da man," whenever Phil hits a shot. This was funny 10 years ago. It's stupid now.

4. Guys in suits. This isn't the British Open.

5. The handicapped people have it the best. They get moved to the front of all the lines. They get placed right next to the grandstands with outstanding views....and they always get the best parking spots.

6. The New Yorkers. No doubt about it, I can spot/hear a New Yawker a sand wedge away. They usually where alot of gold jewelry(they chains on the guys are always too small though), have closely cropped dark hair with stinky gel, cheap cologne, 1990's style short pants, and a diaglogue with their friends that is both profane and annoying at the same time.

7. The Goth people at the open threw me for a loop. Usually they sleep during the day and are considered "creatures of the night." On Friday however, several of them journeyed out of their cave to brave the sunshine and mingle among the golf crowd of mostly white, middle-class Americans. The tattoo's, dark clothing, and dark hair sort of gave them away. Goth people dig golf? Who knew?

Our group had fun and the hospitality experience that was put together made our clients feel very welcome. The food in the hospitality ballroom was great - we had big screen tvs to keep track of the tournament plus video golf instruction that allowed us to hit golf balls into a net and see how far and accurate we could hit. The joint also offered an open bar and for those in our group who wanted to party, they had a great time. Me? I imbibed on diet cokes.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Golf and The Magic Sleep Machine

Over the past 6 months I have been running on fumes.....

My 47 year-old body felt beat-up, run down, wiped out, buried, out of gas. In a word...SPENT.

Thanks to some great doctors and their diagnosis, I have been sleeping with my Magic Sleep Machine for a month now.

And what a month.

Pebble Beach, Valhalla, SLCC, and today.... a breakthrough BEAT DOWN of my golf pals. My round of 82 in extremely windy conditions took the belt back. Mike was 7 shots back and I fought Wade off on the last two holes to beat him by a stoke.

I could have gone another 18 if I had to. Easy game.

My driver is accurate but not as long as I would like (that's what she said - haha), but my irons and their laser-like precision are actually fun to hit. I don't care if it's a wedge, 7 iron, or 3 iron....I can hit 'em at the stick.

Putting remains so-so but the greens at TPC have gone from as slick as an ice rink to as slow as the living room carpet. With any sort of consistency, I think the mid-seventies should be an easy target within a month. This will likely mean a showdown with Davey. And you know what? I can beat him. His inconsistency will his downfall. I will grind out a the house on it.

We had another pool gig at the house tonight when all the young women from church showed up. I had "dog duty" so I was able to keep an eye on the Laker-Celtic game while watching the dogs.

I was bummed to see the Lakers win. Have I said how much I dislike Kobe Bryant? Curt Schilling pitches for the Red Sox and keeps a blog - 38 pitches. He sat on the front row of game #2 in Boston. He stated, just as a matter of fact, what a whining POS Kobe is toward his teammates. No "let's get going," or anything like that. He spent 3 and 1/2 quarters bitching at his teammates during timeouts. Give me Dwayne Wade ANYDAY over this guy. Kobe can knock down 30 plus, but his teammates hate him and you know the front office only tolerates this behavior since they have to. Does anyone like working with a surly dude? Of course not.

And what's the deal with the celebrities in LA making a showing at the game? Jack Nicholson sits on the front row and feels he has the right to get into the face of the refs during the game. He's just another blowhard - a bloated 72 year-old that could keel over any second.

Anyway, it was a good day. A fine day at work, a nice competitive round of golf, a nice little party at the is good. If the wind would just stop blowing, huh?

Monday, June 9, 2008

Sports Weekend

Okay, we had the Belmont Stakes, the finals at Roland Garros, and game #2 of the NBA finals all going on over the weekend. Let's recap shall we?

NBA Finals

Personally, I can't see why anyone can cheer for the Lakers as long as Kobe Bryant is on that team. Sure he's talented with the rock, but could there be a worse teammate in the history of the sport? Talk about throwing people under the bus! This is Kobe's hobby.

And who could forget the rape trial in Colorado a few years ago? Kobe was actually miffed that the jet the team got to fly him back and forth from LA to Colorado wasn't a "high-enough profile jet." I guess even among the jet-set there is "Jet Envy."

Last summer he was holding the Lakers hostage by saying, "Get me more players or trade me." I'm sure the front office of the Lakers loved that. I just don't ever recall MJ or Magic ever saying that and those are the guys Kobe wants to be compared to.

How about the way he got rid of the Big Diesel? Shaq was still performing at a high level but Kobe wanted the Lakers to be "his" team.

And whats the deal with the way he tries to act cool and does that thing with his tongue on the inside of his mouth? You know what I'm talking about.... Part of Kobe being Kobe is that he can't smile and must start each answer to a question with, "You know....."

Boston's up 2-0 and as much as I dislike "Title Town" (3 Super Bowls wins and 2 World Serious wins all this decade is a bit nauseating), I am pulling for them. I like KG very much. The guy is a class act and a great teammate. Ditto for Ray Allen. I hope they close it out in a sweep.

Roland Garros

This is actually the correct name of the tennis event that is often incorrectly called, "The French Open."

I've had the good fortune to attend this event 3 times in my life. Each time it just gets better. When I watch the matches on TV I always get a tinge of nostalgia and wish I was back there again.....wearing my beret and speaking French.

This year, like the past three years saw Rafael Nadal destroy the competition. The 22 year-old kid didn't lose a set and is now 28-0 at RG. Playing Roger Federer, arguably one of the greatest tennis players ever, Nadal lost 4 games. Granted, the red clay of RG is Federer's least favorite surface, but Nadal has beat him in the finals 3 years in a row now. Federer usually extracts his revenge on the slick grass surface of Wimbledon or the hard courts of the US Open. This is a great rivalry - appreciate it.

The Belmont Stakes

I'm not a fan of horse racing, but the fact that a horse comes along every now and then capable of winning the triple crown makes even non racing fans follow along.

The fact that Big Brown's trainer said that winning the Triple Crown was a "forgone conclusion" didn't endear him to anyone else in the horse racing community. Since BB lost, there's been all this chatter about the horse not being himself (????). In fact, the owner of the horse has ordered BB to have bloodwork done, x-rays, etc.... The horse lost - get over it. Now I fear that when the Celtics beat the Lakers, Kobe will use this same excuse, "I just wasn't myself."

US Open this week. I get to wrestle with the crowds on Friday.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Golf Update

Amid all the political hubub, I forgot to comment on my golf game.

The second I decided to play golf today, the wind kicked up. The wind ALWAYS kicks up when I want to play golf, ergo, the wind blows every day (Ergo is Latin for "therefore").

83 today. Better than one opponent, worse than the other guy. Couple of bad holes into the wind created some problems me.....triple on # 13 really hurt. Still need to keep working on my putting.

Forecast for tomorrow: Wind

I tee off at 1:20

Political History is Made Tonight

WARNING: Only my son will make it to the end of this blog - out of respect for his father. I am ranting about politics....AGAIN. Sorry, but it's my blog.
I thank you in advance Alec.

Hillary and Obama: Finally, it's over....or not...

Obama says he won (to his credit,he has earned and exceeded the number of delegates needed to win the nomination) or does Hillary have something up her sleeve? She wouldn't concede the nomination tonight and I thought she was pretty disrespectful of the process that elected her husband to two terms in the white house.

Hillary Clinton lost a competitive tough race yet she knew she was going to lose several months ago....why so much drama tonight?

And what's the deal with delegates, superdelegates and the whole electoral college garbage? Why don't we stack up the votes for each candidate and see who wins? My vote in Nevada (with only 5 electoral votes) would mean as much as one vote in Kalyfornia (with 55 electoral votes). I also prefer to spell Kalyfornia like Governor Schwarzenegger SAYS it.

We've even managed to complicate the voting process. The way it works now, a candidate could focus only on the large delegate states like California, Texas, Florida, New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, etc..and completely ignore the people in less populated states and win the presidential election. It doesn't make sense to me.

It's a raw deal that Al Gore had more votes in 2000 election than George Bush, but didn't win the electoral college. And I don't even like Al Gore but the numbers don't lie. In the 2000 election, more Americans wanted him to be president than George Bush - 543,000 more. But Gore had only 266 electoral votes to Bush's 271 (270 are needed to win). See why Florida with it's 25 electoral votes (now up to 27) was critical?

The electoral college (not named that initially) is part of the constitution of the United States and to change the constitution (ie eliminate the electoral college) would take, well, an act of congress and then some. As outdated as this method is, it will at least survive the rest of my lifetime on earth.

McCain? I have to vote for this guy. My wallet and head say I need to vote for him. He's boring. The guy probably takes a leak like 6 times a night and can't remember how to get out of his house in the morning but he's our guy. He looks like he is 100 years old. I seriously doubt he will have the stamina to hold up under the rigors of the office. I hope he picks a decent VP.

I like Obama as a person. He's very articulate (inside joke there) and would be a guy I'm postive I would enjoy spending 4 hours with playing a round of golf together. I just don't like his politics.

I'm thinking outside the box now....Wouldn't we would be better off with a sensible, average "Joe" businessman to be President than either of the choices the major parties are putting forth?

Seriously, "Joe" would try and balance the budget (does anybody even care about this in Washington?), cut wasteful spending (again, no one cares), drill for oil in Alaska (see you later enviromentalists, time to quit funding the people who hate us by buying their oil), tell the UN to leave (they are worthless), and to go kick some tail in the Middle East once and for all. It is only a matter of time until that crazy dude in Iran does something that will make us angry. I say enough with the sword fighting....bring out the nukes like Harry Truman did and get people's attention. Harry was a democrat by the way.

I'm old school. I fear that our country is slowly being dismantled, decentralized, and fragmented. Where is our patriotism? Our faith in God as a nation? The principles of our forebears who only wanted freedom and opportunity that America could provide? Now we have politician's who want to provide "good paying jobs" and "universal healthcare for all." These are great ideas but they can't be guaranteed in a capitalistic society. Here, you get what you earn. If we decide to be a socialist country, then doctors can earn what truck drivers earn and we can all live in the same sized houses and take public transportation to work AND have universal healthcare. That route extinguishes ambition. It's anti-American.

I don't have young kids anymore, but do grade school kids still say the Pledge of Allegiance and inlude the "under God" part? Do we hold our hands over our hearts when the national anthem is played? (I do) A lot of people don't even bother to take their hats off when this song is played. IT IS OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM. GET BEHIND IT.

Whoever gets elected President will have my support - 100%. The office is sacred. We need to make it an honorable job again. Too often we slam our leaders with jokes, cartoons, and other disrespectful things. Let's honor those who lead whether we agree with their policies or not....let's be American's first, honorable citizens second, hard workers, and then let's decide if we are republicans or democrats - that's the least important part of all.

Monday, June 2, 2008

The Beat Goes On

Monday. Blah!

The golf course is closed on Monday's so I can't bust out of here and play today...or even go and hit some balls. I do however plan on playing at least 3 days this week, maybe 4. I'm waaaay stoked to have my energy back and be able to play golf again. I'm also looking forward to playing some tennis. The guys in the office want to get a game going and I'm positively sure I will beat them - as long as my shoulders and hips don't ache too much. This should be fun.

I'm going to the US Open next week and taking some clients along. If I'm not playing golf, I'm watching golf. It's a good group of guys and I'm sure we'll have a great time. I've been to the US Open before (Olympia Fields, 2003)and it was a circus. You had to stand in line for an hour to walk through a metal detector and were instructed to go stand in yet another line to check your cell phone. The tour players can't be distracted with the sound of anything during their backswing. I didn't feel like standing in another line so I stuffed the phone down my pants and when the gal wanded me, I just said, "It's the zipper." I was in. I made sure to turn my phone off too. Or so I thought....

Tiger was putting and my phone starts ringing as I'm sitting in the bleachers surrounding the green. Back then I had the theme from "Mission Impossible" so at least it was a cool ring and not some faggy ringtone that Steve uses. My golf pals are looking at me like I'm from another planet and they disowned me in a heartbeat. I tried to silence the thing (it must have got switched to "on" accidentally) and you know how that always goes....fumbling, bumbling...more of the same...I finally got the phone picked up and answered it with a feeble, "hello?"

It was Janae!

I hung up quickly and with everyone staring at me like I had just backed my car over a child, I said, "It's okay, I'm a doctor." They all nodded in the affirmative, as if "Oh, that's okay." Jeez, tough crowd.

Jake tossed us a curve-ball and emailed us today...Monday is his new P-Day. Problem is, we all write him Monday night so he didn't have any emails to greet him today. Bummer. He was between emails so I was able to shoot him off a quick note and fill him in about Dixon's wedding, irresponsible bloggers and so forth. He's doing great. I posted a few of his pictures on my blog.

Looking forward to Tuesday.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Be a Responsible Blogger

Okay, you have set yourself up with a blog. Good for you.

Your own blog allows you to write about anything you want - You can write about stuff that inspires you or write about things that make you mad or people who make your life alittle better. You can write about life experiences that made you laugh, cry, or scream out with anger and frustration.

A blog is a great way to blow off steam and keep a public journal for all to see. A blog can be a cathartic experience and besides, it's fun to share a glimpse of your life with other people. Truly it gives new meaning to, "My Life is an Open Book."

I enjoy linking to other peoples blogs - friends, family, acqaintances - and then link to their "favorite" people. It's fun to see all the beauty, happiness, and folly that makes up the lives of people all over the world.

Most blogs are funny, fun, and drip with sarcasm. Some are downright clever and beautiful in the way their home pages are constructed. I love seeing pictures of the people who are blogging - it makes them human. Pictures are always cool.

So what do I mean by "Be a Responsible Blogger?" What do you think I mean?

If you have committed to setting up a blog, commit to updating on a frequent basis. Indeed life can be downright overwhelming some days and you think to yourself, "there just isn't enough time to squeeze in a decent blog post," but seriously - aren't the days you are so busy and overwhelmed with life the very best days to blog for a few minutes? No doubt your day was full of adventure, drama, hilarity and life experience.... Surely something memorable can be typed in for a few minutes. Huh? Yeah?

I notice that some blogs have not been updated for weeks or months....this makes me sad since there are many people I want to silently "drop in" to see how they are doing. J-Dog, you haven't posted a blog since October.'s been almost 2 months. Surely your wedding preparations have produced stories to share that will bust our sides with laughter. Get going girl.

So get posting people. Your fans need to hear from you.