Friday, January 30, 2009

Montezuma Got His Revenge

We've been in Mexico for nearly a week and the past 2 days have been agony for me. I just lay around and moan, "mama." I just want to be home. Being sick 10 hours from home sucks. We're not due to leave for 4 more days but I'm seriously considering hopping a flight tomorrow. I want to be in my own bed.

The Mexico trip was poorly planned. We did it right after Gram's funeral and we ended up taking advice on a hotel that I will never stay in again. There are 10 things wrong with this hotel, and the biggest one is I got sick at it. We've been to Mexico before and I gotta say I think I'm through with it. Hawaii here we come. Or back to Jamaica. Nah, that place is too dirty. I'm sticking with Hawaii.

We had dinner at Carlos and Charlies the other night and the waiter said is name was "Astro." But it didn't come out like that so I said, "Your name is a**hole?" This is probably where my illness came from since I'm not laughing now. I find Cancun to be like Las Vegas with a beach. Never again. Now last year we were in Playa del Carmen and stayed at the Fairmont Mayakoba - that place rocked.

And so I sit here in my robe, chomping on malox, immodium and pepto bismol and drinking ginger ale. All first class seats are sold out for tomorrow on US Aire so I can't even get home if I wanted to. The option would be to go coach and that's really not an option for me now is it? Sunday is possible but the holiest of holy events takes place that day: The Super Bowl. Jake would disown me if I spent the day flying and missed the game. Janae tossed another option: Delta through Atlanta. Pay the one way fare and keep the credit on US Air.....hmmmmmm.......

I may make it home tomorrow after all.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


I'm spent. 15 hours of football over this weekend and I tivo'd NFL Primetime and Sportscenter which I'm watching for the 4th time right now. I know Jake would be proud.

My beloved Eagles went to the Meadowlands and seal-clubbed the Giants for the 2nd time in 38 days. This game was for a trip to the NFC title game and our victory means we head to Arizona to play the once hapless but now dangerous Cardinals.

To say that this has been a great sports year is an understatement: Phillies, Utes and now the Eagles? Can destiny be stopped? No.

Since church started at 9am I was able to be there for most of sacrament meeting but had to skip out a tad early since kickoff was at 10am. Fan is short for "Fanatic." I'm a fanatic. I did keep my white shirt on all day though.

In 20 degree weather with gusting winds, the eagle guys didn't wear long sleeves while most of the giant players wore them. Obviously, this tilted the mental toughness edge to the eagles but lets face it, that's just a pretty stupid tough guy ploy. Their next game will be in sunny and warm Phoenix. Just in case, they have a stadium with a roof that can be open or closed so weather won't be a factor. We just need to pressure their qb Kurt Warner into submission.

I hoping for an Eagles-Steelers Super Bowl AND for one of our insurance companies to invite me to the game like 2 years ago when I sat in the rain and watched the Colts take out da Bears. Or I can watch in in High-def at home.

Go Eagles

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Keith Show

I view my life as sort of a screwball comedy. There is always something funny or slightly amiss going on. Me? I don't take much seriously. Living with a comic 24 hours a day can grind away at Janae, but it's the deal she made and she's stickin' to it. At least for now.

Episodes of My Life

Lately, to fulfill my hypochrondriac fantasy, I've been seen by Doc Eells, a spine doc for the arthritis in my back, and an orthopedic doc for my left shoulder ailments. Got a bad wing that's gonna need some surgery so I can get back out on the links. All that body and health stuff will sort itself out - eventually.

It's the wandering into doctors offices that is always amusing. From the patients to the staff to the docs themselves, I actually have to bite my tongue keep from making wisecracks.

I also have my mother in law living with us as she is at the end stage of pulmonary fibrosis. Janae and her sister Christine have been angels while taking care of their mom. Janae struggles at times since it's a no-win deal and all she can really do is make her mom comfortable.

Being a caregiver 24/7 is tough work. Our sleep patterns are seriously messed up and they were bad to begin with. I knew I had entered the twilight zone the other day when I turned around in the hallway to see my sister-in-law wearing a swim suit, SARS mask, and clogs - her shower attire to bathe Grammy. It was just something that Keith doesn't see every day.....and it startled him.

I became distressed this week when I learned that the Bunkers are leaving on a mission next summer. Who is going to drop off the always delicious Holiday Salsa and Doritos to me? Davey! Help!

And so the beat goes on. Jake is on the downhill side and for me he can't get home soon enough. Yeah the mission is great, yeah it's what we raise them to do but it is terribly difficult to see your son wave goodbye and not see him again for 2 years.

This had all better be true or I'll be pissed.

Utes: National Champs

I agree with the sports columnist Rick Reilly when he felt that Utah deserved to be crowned the national champ in football. In fact, since the title is mythical anyway and the BCS has done nothing to ensure a true national champ is crowned, I'm just going to maintain that since Utah ran the table, didn't lose a game, and seal-clubbed those Alabama boys back to their sheds, that they are the champs.

In the absence of a playoff, 4 teams have each made arguments that they are the nation's best. With the exception of Utah, each has to explain away their one loss. USC was beat by Oregon State (a team Utah beat if one were to go use the "BYU Argument"). Florida lost to Ole' Miss and Texas lost to Oklahoma. Utah? They don't have to explain nuthin' - they won all of their games.

The "BYU Argument" will cleary show that Utah beat the very same Oregon State team that beat USC; that Ole Miss beat Florida, then lost to South Carolina who beat Tennessee who lost to Wyoming while Utah beat Wyoming - 40 to 7. Finally, Texas lost to Texas Tech who was beat guessed it, Ole Miss...who beat Florida...

Quod erat demonstrandum (Q.E.D.).

Utah Utes: 2009 National Champs

Friday, January 2, 2009


Now that 2008 is out of the way, I am looking forward to a great '09.

In summary, 2008 was sort of a transition year. For starters, we dropped Jake off at the MTC on January 2nd for prepartion to serve his mission in Ecuador. Coming on the heels of New Year's this really didn't give any of us much time to reflect on the holiday season of '07 or really even prepare very well (me anyway) for his departure. My loneliness afterward was gut wrenching. I was so sad. Alec and Tiffany had just been married and they moved to Utah so our once busy home became eerily quiet....nearly overnight. I was crushed. A quick trip to Petland fixed that and within days of losing Jake, we then had a 9 week old Golden Retriever....I named him Buddy. This was our 3rd dog to go along with the 4 cats who made our home one big circus. Buddy lasted about 8 months before we decided to give him up to a lovely family who always longed for a Golden Retriever. Buddy is now the center of attention for 2 little boys; he tags along on the mom's daily jog; manages to pull out the father's newly planted flowers and small bushes and, I'm sure, gives the Oswald family back more love than they ever dreamed of getting from a dog. I was glad that move worked out so well for everyone.

In May I was diagnosed with a severe case of sleep apnea. Each night I now go to sleep wearing a mask that is hooked up via tubing to a bipap machine (aka The Magic Sleep Machine) to help me get the proper amount of oxygen my body needs to keep all the major organs working properly. Within days of first using the MSM, the affects were positive - lifechanging. GREAT! Janae actually sleeps better now too since the MSM is much quieter than my Fred Flintstone-like snoring.

At work, 2008 was another fun challenge. More than ever, we helped clients navigate through some very difficult economic times. Our staff, as always, did a great job of obtaining bids, lowering costs, and working hard to provide our customers with the best insurance program availale at the best price. I'm grateful to have a job that allows me to work from just about anywhere as long as there is cell phone service and wireless internet access. I'm blessed to have excellent people that have worked with me for a long, long time.

The year also saw Alec return to school and continue his education after serving two years on his mission in dusty Piura, Peru. Alec's studies are so hard they actually make me laugh. It's good there are people like him out there in the world.

My golf game saw some great rounds and some not so great rounds. My best round of the year was a 73 with most scores coming in between 75 and 82. The year was highlighted by trips to Pebble Beach and Valhalla. Everyone knows about Pebble Beach and it's nice and all that but Valhalla is a gem of a course built in Louisville, Kentucky. It recently hosted the Ryder Cup. This is a competition held every other year where the best professional golfers from the United States play the best golfers from Europe. Not only is the name "Valhalla" really cool, but he course is gorgeous - in that mid-western tree and green sort of way. Also played the famed Olympic Club in San Francisco - the course is better than Pebble but no ocean. It's famous because it has hosted some 1/2 dozen US Opens, US Amateurs, and other world class golf competitions.

My own golf game has declined a bit recently. I haven't played much in the past 2 months with distractions being the holidays, cold weather, and super busy work schedule. The time is coming where I hope to get out 2 to 3 times a week. I have a lot of clients that like to play so I can kill two birds with one stone; take care of business on the golf course. I never quit working!

Toward the end of the year we moved Janae's mother in with us as a result of an on-going illness. We have plenty of space at the house, and Janae is great caregiver. Her sister Christine has been out for about a week now and her return to her family in Illinois is up in the air right now. We have some home health care people that come by the house several times a week so that takes a bit of the load off of the gals. A lot of visitors have stopped by to see Joyce - many from far away. It's great that family members have made the effort to make these trips to see Joyce one last time. We have all been touched by the outpouring of love and tenderness that has been exhibited by everyone.

2008 was historic for the implosion of Wall Street. Greedy corporate CEO's whose only goal was to inflate their company's stock price were exposed as liars, cheaters, imposters and thieves. Stock prices were inflated due to poor information yet these men all profited by playing this game. It's a shame that so many working class families were wiped out due to the greed of those who were supposed to lead these companies. Hopefully we have all heard the last of this sort of crap and that our nation will bounce back stronger than ever.

The most historic event, arguably, was the election of Barack Obama as our nation's president. He is the first black ever elected to our country's top political office. While I disagree with the man's politics, I have grown to like him. I look forward to seeing what his goals are for our nation and how he will face the numerous challenges the people of the united States face at this time.


My tribe just finished watching the 2009 Sugar Bowl. Utah wiped the floor with Alabama 31-17. Two things came to mind while watching the game: So called football experts, including the national media, give zero respect (with the exception being USC) to football teams west of the rocky mountains, and the hype and accolades generated for Alabama was most definitely alcohol induced. No way should Alabama have been ranked #1 for 5 weeks. They are a top 10 school at best. Tonight's game is yet another reason why a college football playoff is needed. Wouldn't a Utah-USC national semi-final look good? On the other side would be the winners of the Texas-Ohio State game, and the Florida-Oklahoma game. Now we're talking.