Okay...sleep test came back today...interesting....very interesting....
Apparently I had 32.8 "events" per hour which is, well, bad....world class even. Diagnosis: Severe Central Sleep Apnea. This differs from obstructive apnea where muscles in the throat relax...in my case, my brain is misfiring. Yikes.
As Doc Eells was reading the statistical summary to me, I was actually laughing out loud. I mean what else was I supposed to do? When he was done spitting out all the facts, some of it in a language I had yet to understand, I looked at him and said,
"Well, is that a record?"
He laughed. Whew. Good crowd.
I was able to get a grand total of 32 minutes of REM sleep and could hold my breath for 40+ seconds on several occasions. This is quite a feat since I don't think I could hold my breath for that long if I tried to do this while wide awake and in the middle of the day.
There was all sorts of other gibberish and what not on the report about Sleep Scores, REM, Slow Sleep Wave (a new Bose product?) and Oxygen Percentage Levels that were alarmingly low. He looked at me and said, "I can't even believe you are awake right now."
I retorted, "Are you kidding, I am operating some heavy machinery later today at the airport." More laughter. I'm thinking of putting a gig together.
So I slink out of Eells office wondering just how all this is going to play out. Today, tomorrow, next month, a year from now...for the rest of my life.
I'm not gonna lie, if a dive shop were open, I'd be hooked up to a scuba tank right now inhaling oxygen...nothing like taking control of the situation. Maybe one of those oxygen chambers that Wacko-Jacko slept in? Hey, if they are comfy, why not?
Next step is going back to the sleep center to have 'em hook me up to an Auto SV Titration system (cpap?) and see how many times I can rock that joint even with oxygen.
For me, it's all about records.
3 comments:
I love the competitive spirit Keith! With all the practice you are putting into holding your breath... you should look into free-diving instead of scuba.
If you do want to hook up to a tank and hits the ocean, though... let me know... I am always looking to get some bottom time.
geeez keith! how do they fix what you've got? good thing you still have your sense of humor!
you know, doctor eells and i grew up in the same ward. it's a small world :)!
TAKE CARE!
Susan,
Doc Eells is great. I remember going to him at Quick Care on Sahara like 10 years ago and the nurses were witches. Thanks for your concern.
Keith
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