Thursday, March 27, 2008

I'm Back and I'm Angry

I'm back people....and I'm angry.

Okay, let's debate about what's going on:

1. The BYU Dorks (a never-ending saga)
2. Gas Prices
3. Healthcare
4. The War in Iraq

The BYU people drive me crazy. To simply say I dislike them all doesn't adequately convey the depth and breadth of my feelings toward them. They are so pious....so petty....so annoying....so out of touch with the world...... You have no idea how glad I that their basketball team lost in the NCAA's! I just hummed to myself, "Praise to the man!" The loss to a lower seed just confirms that their program is inferior. They didn't come ready to play....to fight with flipflops? yeah, but to play? No way.

And how about all the pettiness that is constantly on display by BYU fans, alumni, players and their wives? (Sister Sarah). I believe their blind faith borders on lunacy....In fact, the temple recommend interview should be modified; "Do you feel that BYU sports deserves to win all the time? Even against Notre Dame?"

"uh......yes."

And these people can balance their checkbook?


I've actually determined that it's the BYU grads in 0ur ward who are the biggest whiners - it's a lifestyle for them. It wasn't a stretch to figure that out. Here's an example: kid get dropped off for mutual, everyone leaves an hour later....kid is left at church....parent is FURIOUS that child wasn't dropped off. Calls bishop. Calls YM President. Hey BYU dweeb, be responsible for your own kids and quit relying on my wife to provide taxi service. I'm sure a letter was sent to Salt Lake too......as if they don't have more important things to do......

I can only hope more members choose to attend other colleges.

2. Gas prices - too high. I say we show the King of Saudi Arabia a couple of gleaming nuclear bombs in the bays of our state-of-the-art B-2 bombers and give them 48 hours to see if they want to lower their prices about 30 bucks a barrel? We go too soft on these ragheads. Yeah, ragheads. We need to make them lowever their prices. In the good old days, we would have just taken the stuff.....we need to be tougher.

Also, I would drill through the head of a protected caribou in Alaska if I could pump some oil. Sure the wilderness is pristine, but it has alot of natural resources. We have to drill people. To hell with the enviromentalists.

3. Healthcare costs money. Deal with it. I am tired of all the whining. Plus my son is going to be a doctor, and I want him to be really rich.

4. The war is costly. The war is about control of the Middle East. The war is about oil. We've been there for 5 years and price per barrel has gone up....a lot. Use the good bombs.....the nuclear ones......that'll get people's attention. Jeez....do I have to think of everything?

Peace.

10 comments:

Trent said...

I hope Kadee, Elizabeth, the baby and I are still invited for Thanksgiving. We'll take some dark meat and pie in the garage. You at least gotta spare some pie, man. I've got mouths to feed.

Keith A. Runyon said...

Trent,
Of course you and the family are invited....You have Rebel blood in you but in the event you where anything with a BYU logo on it, I will be forced to take drastic, unprecedented measures....don't make me hurt you. And what's the deal with Kadee and Troy? We don't know when the wedding is? Please advise.
KAR

Amy Albright said...

Keiff!! Your hatred for BYU is ridiculous! If I am lucky enough to marry the handsome and amazing Jakie (good job on raising such a fine young man) the first official act of your new daughter in law I will buy you a BYU shirt, and I will wear one to your house possibly every other visit :) Luv ya Keiff

Heidi said...

Keith--that question IS actually on the temple recommend question list. Where have you been? I don't know what that says about your temple attendance... See, in my Righteous Judging 101 class at BYU, we learned to discern this kind of stuff.

Just kidding. I hate BYU basketball now. They have no skillz and Plaisted is a whiner and overrated. They have no killer instinct and they don't konw how to play against any semblance of pressure D. I am impressed with UNLV. I once was a UNLV bball fan. I may have to jump on the bandwagon again.

Having said that, I will never, no never, no never, lose my faith in the football cougs!

Did you see the Utes are getting new uniforms? Apparently they are so bad that Nike is dropping them and they're going with Under Armour. WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!!!! The Utes are a joke. The U should change its name to the Commuter University of Salt Lake County Northeast Campus. And Kyle Whittinham (traitor) needs to look into some pants that actually fit him. Maybe you can give him a pair of yours, Keith.

Gas prices are expensive. And I feel bad too, because the higher prices go, the less gas people buy, and the more likely it is that the ex-Utes will have a job pumping Lenny Gomes' gas. Sorry for that.

Keith A. Runyon said...

Excellent post Andrew!!!! At last you see the folly of the cougar basketball team. Sure they win at home....yawn....it's the whining over calls...the pouty faces....the cries of unfairness....should the righteous act so boorish?

Utah football has indeed fallen far and fast since Kyle "No Emotion" Whittingham took over. They guy looks clueless and is always adjusting the volume on his headset to he can hear Hootie and the Blowfish tunes.

I will acknowledge BYU's football excellence except for Gary What's-his-name period where he whined as much as the basketball team.

So let me get this straight, is Righteous Judging offered as an undergrad major or is it just general ed?

Keith A. Runyon said...

Amy!!!!! You can wear cougar gear over to my house anytime. You know my posts are for entertainment purposes only! And you keep writing our Jake!
Love,
Keith

Heidi said...

Righteous Judging 101 is part of the freshman seminar. You get no credit for it, but it's a prerequisite for all other clases at the Y.

I hate to admit it. BYU bball just isn't doing it for me.

So at lunch I went and bought a vintage San Diego Padres hat at Lidz. I specifically remember Wade telling me one time when the Padres were in town to play the Stars that if Gary Templeton would cut his fro, he would be able to run faster. Now, whenever I see vintage Padres gear I think of Templeton's hat riding high on top of his fro. Gotta love that hat.

Alec and Tiffany said...

Andrew, I am happy that you have converted over from the dark side. Don't worry about the whole bandwagon thing...as long as its UNLV that you are going to, there is no crime.

But hey...what's with all the Ute insults? Keep em up and I may just charge you double when I treat you in your old age haha!

~Alec

Josh, Kierstin and the 5 monkeys said...

I wonder if CGRH8R is available on a NV plate... I may just have to go get it... in spite of the DMV lines

Heidi said...

Alec--don't be a geriatric doctor. Old people smell like beef and cheese.

As for the Ute insults, there must needs be opposition in all things. I'm just trying to keep your dad's blog relatively balanced.