The Car Lot

I had the pleasure of buying two new cars this week. As always, there was a good deal of humor and drama involved in the transactions. Nowadays, when you pull up to the front of the dealership you are immediately encircled by salesmen. No chance whatsoever to browse around - their eyeballs just bore into you. They are worse than shoe salesmen at Nordstorm's.

The first transaction was the the Mercedes Benz dealer. I was trading in my 2006 and was looking for a spiffy 2 door since the kids were long gone, and frankly, I don't know if anyone ever even sat in the back seat of the S500. I had pretty much decided on the CL, when salesman Jeff took me downstairs to look at some different colors....when the elevator door opened, "Wham!" I saw the car I needed. A sleek 2 door pearl white 550SL with all sorts of chrome and more electronic shit than the space shuttle. I had them add chrome wheels to really pimp it out. Playa. Of course after you pick the car, they run you through the finance gauntlet where they try and and sell you everything from paint guard to wheel protection. Every salesmen is a sucker and I ended up buying all the stuff I'll forget I have and end up paying for repairs out of my own pocket.

Next stop was the Lexus dealer so Janae could pick out her SUV. She's hated the Range Rover since we got it. There's no doubt that the RR is a great looking ride, it just a nightmare to own one. Jake was driving out to see a girl he was dating who lived in Henderson and while he was on the I-215, the right rear tire on the RR PASSES him going 65 MPH. This is never a good thing. He pulls over and calls me,

"Uh....Dad...you're not gonna believe this, but......."

So I drive out there like any father would do and just stare at the mess as if I know what to do. Pulling up, I find Jake and AJ trying to change the flat tire. This is comical. Now if there is one thing that kids today aren't good at is stuff like changing tires, using ladders, and putting in car stereos - like we all did back in the day. Kids nowadays know how to burn CD's, DVD's, and do all that computer/ipod crap. The heavy lifting? Not so much.

In 15 minutes, Jake and AJ managed to bend the jack to the point where it was no longer useful, but they were able to track down the tire that had spun off the wheel so we had that for evidence because car dealers hate you once the ink is dry in the sale and wouldn't believe this story at all. 3 sets of tires later, and, thankfully, no other serious mishaps, and the car behaved okay for the past few years. I rarely drove it thank goodness.

Anyway, it was time for Janae to get her new ride. These days, it's pretty slim pickins for SUV's.....had the GMC's, done the Land Cruiser, are not old enough (or black) to drive a Cadillac, weren't interested in the Range Rover, didn't want anything built in America since those companies will be gone in less than 24 months so our choices had pretty much narrowed themselves down to the big Lexus. We kept this fact in our pocket while dealing with our sales guy who was nice enough, but wore an annoying ring on his right hand that seemed alittle faggy even though he was married with children. Some guys can pull off the multiple ring thing, and some can't. The ones that can't, well, you know, they just come across sort of strange. But I don't mean that in a bad way.

Now I thought I had struck a deal to trade in the Range Rover for the Lexus and was sitting in the finance dude's office signing papers like a drunken sailor when in fact the topic of the RR came up. This is where things got alittle sleazy....our sales guy swore we didn't talk about trading in the RR while I was pretty sure we did. Janae was already intoxicated with the smell of the new ride - the leather, the carpet, the rubber, the plastic and whatever the hell it is they put in there that pretty much makes every single one of us a total sucker for a new car - that I couldn't back out now. So instead of having 2 cars like a normal husband and wife, I now have 4 plus the one up in Utah that Alec drives. We essentially have a car lot in the driveway. Anyone need a RR or a porsche? With the economy in the toilet the market for my P-car dried up so I may just have to sit on that forever. It's quite possible that that will be Jake's car when he returns home from Ecuador. Not too shabby of a deal for him! Haha. It's got 4 wheel drive so he can feel safe driving in the mountains. I'm sure he'll make it work. Two words: Chick magnet.

Janae is on her annual sojourn to Indian Wells with Holly and Kelli for the tennis tournament. I'm not sure how much tennis they actually watch, but I do know they have a fun time and always have a lot of stories to tell afterward. Alec and Tiffany fly into to LV tonight, and the three of us will drive down there on Sunday to spend a few days.....watch some tennis, relax by the pool. It's in the mid 80's in Palm Desert so it's even nicer than here in Las Vegas. No wind too which will be nice.

Yawn.....

KAR is tired.