Winter Olympic Thoughts

As always, the winter games conjur up images of athletes in colorful uniforms and and nations coming togther in peace to compete in sporting events that most of us have, at best, a general ideal of the rules. Sure the speed events are easy; he who goes fastest wins. Speed skating, alpine skiing, cross country....these events use timers. Picking the winner is easy.

It's the events that are judged that tend to fuel controvery. Events like ice skating, ice dancing, ski jumping, and so forth are all judged by nations that have political axes to grind against one another so this throws a loop in the entire process.

Here's some of the more interesting events at the winter games: Biathalon - this is where guys on cross country skis are carrying a rifle. They have to ski on a set course, and stop at specific intervals to shoot targets - this can go on for hours. Who thinks up this stuff up? Where is the snowshoe race? How about Skeeball every 100 yards?

Another interesting event is short track speed skating. This is where a dozen guys are crammed onto the rink the size of a basketball court and go like hell from the gun. The scary part about all this is the size of the blades on the skates - they are like two feet long and are razor sharp - odds of someone getting a nasty slice: 50/50....so you have to watch that. It's sort of like watching auto racing - you just wait for the crash.

The snowboarders always provide great theater. They're like surfers only in winter gear....laid back, unruly hair, and stoned, but in a cute way.

I don't get the difference between pairs ice skating and pairs ice dancing. Little help on that one. Aren't they pretty much the same? I mean, I saw Blades of Glory.

The luge/skeleton/bobsled events all use the same track. Here's the difference in the disciplines; bobsleds are large roller coaster-like carts designed by NASA or Ferrari engineers to provide perfect aerodynamics. Sleds have either 2 or 4 man teams. The luge is where guys go feet first on a sled; one or two man events are held - the sled can be steered and has brakes. Sadly, a European luger was killed yesterday when we flew off the track during a training run and hit a metal pole at 90MPH. The skeleton riders are like the guys from JackAss....they go face first and their sleds have no steering or brakes. I'm sure we get a lot of skeleton riders from our fraternity brothers across the country.


Skiing is my favorite - the alpine events require speed; that's an easy way to pick a winner. Freestyle is always exciting but judges have a vote that can easily create controversy. Moguls require speed but jumps and technique are judged. Aerials are judged 100%....and are the most spectator friendly of all the events. Guys doing triple twising quadruple flips? I'm dizzy just writing that trick down.

Hockey? We get enough hockey already.

Curling? Sorry, should not count.

The next two weeks will mean national bragging rights are on the line for probably 10 of the 90 countries at the games. Realisticaly, any team from Africa, Central or South America doesnt' have a snowballs chance in Vancouver of getting a medal.

But you never know.....and that's why we watch.