One of Those Days.....

It all began with the dogs barking. Their barks woke me up - turns out that Tony was making the rounds spraying for bugs.

He's smart, he knows if he shows up early we'll be out cold and we won't invite him to spray the inside of the house - saves him money. The dogs must have heard his footsteps when he slid the bill inside the garage door - then they went beserk. As usual. Uggghhhh....only 7:30am.

At lunchtime I picked up my brother and gave him a pep talk on our ride to his job interview. I dropped him off and went to grab some lunch at Panda.

Always the gentleman, I opened the door for two ladies who approached the door when I did and who would soon torment me.

I dislike waiting, lines of any kind annoy me. Traffic? Can't stand it. People who can't make up their mind? The worst.

Friends and family tell me I'm impatient....I'll concede, but really I'm only intolerant with stupid people.

And so the ladies who I tended the door for wander up to the line at Panda. The girl behind the counter says in somewhat broken but discernable english, "How can I help you?"

"Uh.........What are you going to have?" the loud one says to the other.

I could tell right then that it was going to take every ounce of patience in my body to not walk out right then.

"Which is better....heehee"

I hate this question. What I like may be the complete opposite of what you like. I'm already past being impatient.



A few more "which is better" comments and giggles about the Mandarian chicken or the egg rolls and Lucy and Ethel had managed to make their way around the bend and to the cashier. I had every reason to believe I was in the clear. Home free.



That is, until I got to the soda machine for my delicious diet pepsi juice. Lady #2 was trying multiple sodas and snapping her lips together, loudly, like it was a national on camera taste test. I actually thought she was doing it on purpose - a sort of Candid Camera meets Punk'd. Nope. She just stood there blocking all access to ice and sweet carbonated soda.

I filled up my cup after she wandered off and was nearly knocked over when she stopped suddenly (like people do in the airport - this is also VERY frustrating for Keith) and spun around - forgetting utensils.

"Heehee....sorry."

She was almost wearing my rice and orange chicken. By then I had pretty much lost my appetite. I had a few bites and took off - diet pepsi in hand.

I got home late from work and was reminded by my wife that it was our night to help clean the church.

"Uh, huh...." I croaked.



Cleaning our own church? How bad are things going to get? When is Obama going to turn the Las Vegas switch back on?

We met up with the other family at the chapel and assignments were made. I felt a lot of eyeballs on me when the "Bathroom and Toilet" assignment was tossed out.....

"Okay, I'll do bathrooms and toilets."

There, I said it. Gulp.

We were prepared however. Janae had tossed 1/2 dozen disposable gloves in the car on the way over. I was glad for this. I pulled on the gloves and went to work.




The smell hit me first.

What is that SMELL?????

The kid emptying the trash cans twisted up his face and went, "eewwwwwww, that stinks."

"Amen to that brother."

I propped open the door and went to locate the cause of this putridness. To my surprise, the toilets were all spotless. Thank goodness. I mean, I'll clean the restrooms as long as they are already clean.

But seriously, what is that smell and where is it coming from?

Hunter located the culprit.

Trash can.

Diapers.




From Sunday.

I told him to empty the trash into a larger bag and get outside as fast as you can.

We had the same problem in the ladies room only it was WORSE. More diapers and it two separate trash cans.

The last time I was in a ladies room was when I was 21 or 22 so forgive me for not remembering that women have special little compartment in their stalls that also need to be emptied. I laughed like hell about this for really no other reason than the fact I was doing it.

The cleanup complete and I have to say, the restrooms have never looked AND smelled so good. I got those rooms aired out in no time.

Memo to those with little kids: Take out your smelly diapers.

And don't slow me down.

The NFL is back. The world is now as it should be.

Forget the political name calling. Who is Joe Wilson?

US Open tennis? Sadly, 2009 will be remembered for Serena's verbal attack on the lineswoman that was epic, unforgettable and alarming. She laughed it off and apologized two days later and then, comically, AMENDED her apology the day after that. "I, uh, wants to apologize to the lineslady for what I says...." Pathetic. But humorous in how she and her "team" ultimately handled the train wreck. Badly.

The tournament SHOULD be remembered for a mom finally winning. Kim Clijsters is adorable and is well liked by everyone. I'm glad she won. On the men's side, Federer was beaten in a very good final by Juan Martin Del Potro who is just 20 years old. Cool.

7:15pm Monday.....

Uggghhhhh.....just watch Buffalo lose to New England on MNF. There must be some curse out there on the Bills, the city of Buffalo or the owner Ralph Wilson. Maybe all three had hexes placed on them? Leading 24-19, all the bills had to due was take a kickoff and run out the clock with 2 minutes to go. The return guy for Buffalo wanted to be a hero and took the ball out of the endzone, raced into a pile of humanity and had the ball twisted out of his hands while his head was being ripped off....Patriots ball. They have Tom Brady. He threw a couple of laser beams, scored and won 25-24. The bills lost because they are the bills - loveable losers.

The Cincy-Denver game was also a mess. Both teams deserved to lose and somehow you just knew it would be the Bengals. It's always the Bengals. I watched HBO's "Hard Knocks" this summer which profiled Cincinnati's team this year so naturally I grew fond of the team and their constant struggle to turn the corner and make the playoffs. Alas, on the last play of the game, a tipped ball turned into an 87 yard pass play that went for a touchdown for the equally hapless Broncos. I think Cincy may be able to turn the season around while Denver will be lucky to win 5 games. Getting rid of Cutler was silly and stupid although he looked horrible for Chicago last night. Me thinks his helmet rides too low and he can't see.

Raiders-Chargers throwback uniforms are way cool. I have 4 players in the game on my fantasy football team - all play for San Diego, sorry Jason. The Raiders will be bad again this year. But next year they can draft Crabtree.

My beloved Eagles are also snakebit but not in an embarassing way like Buffalo or Cincy who continue to torment their fans. The eagles don't necessarily do dumb stuff, it's just that weird things happen to their players - injuries, fumbles at key times, interceptions also at key moments in games. I suppose the best way to describe the eagles is that they don't catch any breaks. Ever. The had home field advantage in the NFC title game. Three times. And lost TWICE. Tampa Bay even beat them in Philly in January. This team hails from Florida and the stat that reporters kept bringing up was that when the game time temperature was under 40 degrees, they had never won. Well the thermometer was stuck at 20 degrees on the day they beat the eagles. Lost to Carolina the same way. This is my nightmare each football season. Join the club.

Last night I heard rumblings about "something" Kanye West did on the MTV Music Video Awards and Youtube'd it before going to bed. Sure enough, the guy storms the stage after Taylor Swift had won an award and grabs the microphone and babbles something about how Beyonce had the best selling video of all time - "I'm just sayin'" and then he shrugged his shoulders and wandered off the stage..... and was then escorted out of the auditorium. What an idiot. Not the first time he did something stupid. He's just a stupid dude.

Raider-Charger game is the equivalent of taking an ambien. I might make it to the end. I might not.

Don't care.

Sleeping good lately. Bipap machine plus supplemental oxygen at night. Sure, with all the breathing stuff in the house you would think an old geezer lived here. Nope. Just me. It's cool though. New magic sleep machine and new Oxygen machine equals good night's sleep for KAR.

Night, night.

It Just Doesn't Stop

My trip back to San Diego on Wednesday for a final few days of summer at the beach had an ominous start. I had some business to attend to and sped to the airport for a 2pm flight. While I pulled into the valet parking, I somehow failed to do what I ALWAYS, ALWAYS tell my sons to do: Keep Your Head on a Swivel.

I thumped the car in front of me.

Oops. Total HUMA move.

As luck would have it, my bumper hit the jeeps rubber plug on the trailer hitch. No damage to the jeep and none to my car. The look the Jeep owner gave me was creepy though.....the old Keith would have got in his grill. I played nice.

Then on Thursday night the alarms on my magic sleep machine started blaring and the screen showed an E87 message. On the internet at 2:30am I was able to determine my machine was fried. The next morning I call Praxair and they confirmed it - come in for a replacement unit. Problem was I was 5 hours away....so Janae and I packed up and left the beach house. The girls at Praxair were great and got me squared away with new gear; hose, mask, machine and supplemental oxygen machine that is the size of a small TV. I asked the lady how long I would need that device and she looked at me, paused, and said, "Uh, well, forever." That really bummed me out.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to seek a second or third opinion now on my sleep apnea. Central Sleep Apnea doesn't have a defined cause other than the brain fails to tell the lungs to take a breath - that's bad.

The frustrating thing is that for a year, the magic sleep machine pretty much had me feeling normal. The past few months - back to debilitating.

We are nearing the 100 day mark for Jake's return. According to Janae, we are at 105 days and counting. I'm ready. Missions are harder for parents than their kids - I'm sure of this.

Alec is in the midst of filling out secondary medical school applications. Too bad he can't check "minority" since they seem to ride the diversity train to 50% of the admissions.....despite lower grades and test scores. Pretty soon he'll begin the interview process. This is an exciting time for he and Tiffany.

RayRay our beloved soft coated wheaten terrier played a fast one on us last night - he feigned sleep when it was time to put the dogs to bed, and by morning, he'd pretty much emptied the See's Candy 1.5 pound box of peanut brittle that was on the coffee table.

Laughing uncontrollable now......fires from surrounding states.....dogs gassing up the house....Big Brother on TV.... This is my life.

Oceanside 2009 and All That

Each year we trek to the beach. Some observations:

Each time I'm at the beach, it seems like yesterday when I was here last. I don't know if this is early dementia or if the rest of the year has little meaning. I do know that a lot of stuff went down in the past 12 months, but here I am again... spending time in my 3rd favorite place.

This year we opted for a house instead of a condo. North Coast Village provided a good summer home for at least the past 10 years. Now? We can't ever go back. The problem with this year is the same problem that crops up after you have flown on a private jet. You don't want to go back to flying commercial. This joint is really nice and now that we there are other, better options and dozen's like them scattered all up and down the coast of California.

The water was warm. This was unusual. It's also great since I was able to go for ocean swim or two. The water was also more blue than green or brown. I remember one year down here and the water looked like root beer. I didn't swim in the ocean that entire week. Janae came home with and ecoli infection and an aneursym. A double whammy.

I will never figure out the people who do their goofy tai chi rituals on the sand. Don't get it. The other morning I woke up and stumbled out to the deck and was greeted by a woman about 40 feet away, just beyond the surf. She was coiling up and spinning around in a super slow motion style. She did some kicks, pulled some stuff in the air from the ocean to the beach. This went on for a good 10 minutes. Of course I was compelled to provide audio commentary - funny. You had to be there.

It was so nice having Alec and Tiffany with us. We also know that this will be the last time Jake misses the family beach trip. This fact hasn't been lost on anyone. We look forward to December. It will be here before we know it.

Back in Las Vegas now thanks to some 911 business issues....or else I'd still be in O-side with #8 suntan lotion on and reading book #5. Janae continues her gypsy-like life and is still at the beach...by herself....no dogs, no cats, no phones.

As usual, my life is not without drama or hilarity....The 2nd night home I was jarred awake by the cat fight, which made the dogs bark...and so on (see prior posts for more detailed description). The morning turned ugly because the cat, quite literally, had the poop scared out of him and then decided to hide in the closet, and under the bed. I finally grabbed him and hosed him off....and then got to work on the carpet. Ah, the life of an animal lover.

Hoping to go back to O-side for a few last days of summer later this week.

Peace

Vick is an Eagle

As testament to my sleep disorder, here it is 4am and I can't get to sleep. I can't sit still. I have read every article about Michael Vick becoming an eagle that has ever been written, All are similar. None have put me to sleep.

We leave tomorrow for the beach. I have been looking forward to this trip for a long time. Since Gram's Beach Party peetered out with other family members opting to head south of the border, we were on our own. Instead of going to North Coast Village like we have been for the past decade, we are renting for a house on the beach just south of the pier for 2 weeks. At least we'll avoid the world's slowest elevators at NCV. I'll miss the 30 to 40 family members that used to gather each summer. Strange how everyone just scattered. Maybe there is truth in the old saying, "You can pick your friends, not your family." I'm disappointed that GBP fizzled out and I think it's just our family that feels that way, but I'll just add it to my growing list of things people do or not do that disappoints me.

Janae and I drive down tomorrow and we'll pick Alec and Tiffany up at the airport in San Diego. I'm eager to live in swimtrunks, flip flops and tee shirts for the next little while and read a 1/2 dozen or so books.

The big news of the week was Michael Vick signing with the Eagles.

To some, Vick is the devil reincarnate. Me? I think the guy did some terrible things but he paid a price for his misdeeds. He axed for forgiveness - I'm chill with dat. Can't punish the guy forever like some people insist on doing. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone...." And what not.

It will be interesting to see how the eagles use a guy like Vick. As a QB with the falcons, he could thrown the ball with enough velocity to knock down a barn but his aim was often poor. His arrival gives Philadelphia a legitimate medal contending 4x100 relay team (Jackson, Maclin, Vick and Curtis). Too bad it's football and not track. A guy with Vick's speed and shiftyness needs at least 10-15 touches a game - punt returns, kickoff returns, wildcat formation, reverses, etc. It's going to be fun to watch.

All this Vick discussion and I forgot to announce to those who have been off planet: The good news is that football is back. The bad news is that we have to endure pre-season football. This is a torture that the NFL does to its fans each year. And it used to be worse if you can believe it. Youngsters may not recall when teams played six preseason games not the four that are currently contested. There is talk about cutting the schedule down to two games and adding two to the regular season. Finaly a good idea!

Still not tired. You can bet that fatigue will hit just past stateline.

Uggghhhh......

The Problem with Diversity

Diversity

A polarizing subject...divisive, political....

My eldest son is learning about diversity the hard way. He is busy applying to medical schools all over the country this summer - he graduates in the spring. During this odessey of writing essay after essay, he's found that each school makes it a point to express to future students the school's commitment to diversity. The statement is everywhere.

Amazingly, schools today attempt to diversify their enrollment using race as significant piece of criteria for admission (In 2003 a Supreme Court decision concerning affirmative action in universities allowed educational institutions to consider race as a factor in admitting students). Sure they'll look at grade point averages, test scores and after school activities however the one word that keeps popping up is diversity. Judging by the FAQ's that each medical school publishes about it's incoming class, the closer to 50% enrollment of people of color the better. That leaves 1/2 the seats open to: students of the schools undergraduate programs, and in-state applicants from other schools. Brutal odds. That's why students apply to so many schools; upwards of 20+. There are only 120 total medical schools in the nation to begin with.

News from last week brings us another example of diversity in action - this time by grown ups: President Obama's pick for the Supreme Court of the United States, Sonia Sotomayor, was sworn in last week as a member, and the first hispanic, of that esteemed body of judicial excellence.


Obama surely selected Sotomayer not because she was the best or the brightest legal mind in the land - he picked her because she was hispanic AND a female. By picking Sotomayer, he assured himself the support of both groups when the 2012 election rolls around. He'll be able to stand tall at podiums across the land and say, "Remember what I did in 2009? I need your vote."

Imagine the outrage if Obama had picked an Ivy league educated white male? By the way, Sotomayer is a Princeton grad and graduated from Yale Law. Admittedly though she conceded that it was ethnic diversity that got her into Princeton in the first place and that she struggled mightily academically for the first few years.

Diversity....The pendulum has swung the other direction and now it's stuck.




Personally I don't care what the color is of someone's skin, what religion they espouse or what country they hail from. I'd just prefer that the most qualified people be hired to man our courts (pun intended) and become our future doctors, teachers, firefighters and police officers.

How "diversity" became such a political topic with so much sizzle is puzzling. It's like a weed that sprouted in the grass - you leave for summer vacation and upon your return, the weeds have taken over the yard. You find yourself buckling under the weight of the problem and instead of rolling up your sleeves to weed the garden, you simple turn the hose on and water the mess.

So much for picking the best person for the job huh?

Front Page Stuff

There's been some controversial material in the media lately. Let's take a look shall we?

Michael Vick's NFL Odyssey

Some facts:
1) I am a dog lover. I'm a HUGE dog lover.
2) Mike Vick bankrolled a dog fighting operation and exhibited extreme cruelty to the dogs in his care.
3) Vick served 2 years in prison for the crimes he committed.



How could anyone hurt these guys?

There is no doubt that Vick engaged in stupid and disgusting behavior and many people will never forgive him however.... he served the time that the courts determined he should serve and I believe he should be allowed to get back to work in the NFL without further suspension.

Apparently NFL boss/potentate Roger Goodell (see below) didn't think 2 years of prison, being humiliated and ridiculed (to this day even), losing his fortune (at one time he was the NFL's highest paid player), going bankrupt, and being the scourge of the earth wasnt' quite enough punishment - he imposed an additional 6 game suspension....just to make sure Vick knew who was boss. I'm no Vick fan, but jeez, players who killed people got off easier than MV.



Roger Goodell in 30 years

Let's compare Vick to Leonard Little and Donte Stallworth. These guys were each NFL players. Each were convicted of driving under the influence and of KILLING another human being (not a dog). In 1998 Little hit a St. Louis woman, killing her, while driving drunk. He spent 90 days in jail - that's it. The media storm for Little was minor - the football writers of America voted him an All-Pro 4 years later.

Stallworth...he also was convicted of driving under the influence and killing a man who was on his way home after a construction shift. Unbelievably, Stallworth served a grand total of 27 days in jail. Sure he surrendered his drivers license for the rest of his life but I doubt that will actually stop him from driving. He's also suspended indefinitely since the incident occurred in the recent offseason but make no mistake - he won't spend 2 years out of the NFL like Vick.

These two guys killed human beings.

Think about it.

Plaxico Burress' Gunshot Wound

The former NY Giants receiver accidentally shot himself in the leg last November while inside a club in NYC. Dude was carrying a loaded handgun in his pocket...it went off....his pal and teammate at the time, Antonio Pierce, helped Plax get to a hospital where he could be treated for his injury. Both guys would wind up in some serious trouble.



Plax

I'll explain...

NYC has moronically strict gun laws. Just carrying a firearm without a permit carries a mandatory 3+ year prison sentence. That's a bit steep. One "oops" and anyone could be facing a life altering experience - in prision with bad men. The thought makes me keep practicing spanish. No way I'd ever go to prison. Canada is too cold in the winter so I'd opt for a non-extradition central or south American country. Prison? Are you kidding me?

Anyway, Plax told the prosecuter's office he'd serve a year in jail (as if he could dictate his own sentence?) yet the prosecuter demanded he do 2 years not 1. I guess a MANDATORY sentence isn't so mandatory. I don't understand this - perhaps my legal pals can explain. This sort of thing is remarkable to me when Burress testified under oath to the a Grand Jury that he did own the firearm; that it did discharge; and that he was injured as a result. Quad erant demonstradum.

Pierce was in hot water because he helped his friend get to a hospital and wasn't immediately forthcoming about what happened. The Grand Jury met today to vote on his behavior - they did the right thing and did not indict him. He was helping a friend. To me, loyalty is everything.

Professor Gates and The Cambridge Cop

I think everyone can agree that it appeared to the neighbor who called the police that someone was breaking into a house - couple of guys working on a door with no key. A tad suspicious - proceed with caution right?

The fact that it was the owner of the house trying to pry the door open was, at the time, unknown to everyone but the good professor. The cops approached the situation like all cops must do - with extreme caution. Words were said, next thing you know, the homeowner/professor was in handcuffs and was dragged away to the police station.




The incident should never have escalated to where it did and it certainly didn't warrant, in my opinion, the President of the United States commenting about how the cops acted "Stupidly." Surely the only people who really know what happened did manage to gather over brewskis at The White House last week and snacked with the Prez and VP Joe Biden.

I wish President Obama would invite me over for a BBQ on some lazy summer Saturday. I'd give him an earful on health care reform, immigration, the stimulus package and a give him my college football playoff pitch. How do I swing an invite like that?


Michael Jackson's Doctor



Conrad Murray, Gangsta MD/Rapper

Uh oh.

This guy is some serious trouble.

It looks like the Doc MAY have provided MJ with propofol which is a drug used to knock patients out during medical procedures.

I'm not a doctor but common sense tells me to stick to sleep medications to help someone have a good nights rest. Putting someone "out" for 8 hours using this sort of drug just doesn't seem like the right thing to do - maybe that's why so many doctors, referring to Murray and Jackson, asked the obvious question, "What were these guys thinking?"

But that's just me.

Maybe the $150,000 A MONTH the doc was getting from MJ influenced his prescription choices? I know this: If someone was paying me that sort of money I would sure as hell KEEP HIM ALIVE. What an idiot. Word on the street is that despite several months on the job he hadn't been paid yet. If I were him, I wouldn't count on getting a check soon either.


Watch What You Twitter or Facebook

Letting the world know about the fabulous vacation you are on can lead to coming home to a burglarized house. Post about it AFTER you get home. A public service announcement from me.