Idol Update

We came in from outside to catch American Idol and see who would be in the finale. Spring/summer is here as evidenced by the mosquito population increasing. Our Army-sized Citronella candle kept the mosquitos on Alberti Court at bay, but before I lit it, I lost some blood - how else would you know it was time to light the candle? And why is it called a mosquito bite when they actually sting you? Hmmmmmmmmmnnn......




The 3 guys left standing on the show were Adam, Kris and Danny. With all the votes cast and the fact that people can vote multiple times means the best singer doesn't always win - just the most popular. Big difference.

Each contestant got to take a trip to their hometowns last week and this was shown tonight on the show. Adam grew up in San Diego and you know got his ass kicked in high school so we thought it was funny Idol took him back there....to the football field even; surely a place he never went in high school. Talk about irony.

Idol producers had this little kid from Rwanda perform on stage in a fund raising effort and now he has to go back to Rwanda? Possibly the worst tease in television history. He goes from a village with mud huts to a slick Hollywood stage, new kicks, and backup singers and dancers and then has to go BACK? If I were that kid, I'd claim political assylum and stay in the U.S.

Katy Perry perfomed in a Wonder Woman-like costume. Strange gal.




Check out her face/eyes, they remind me of Destiny's. I guess she's like the 'it' singer chick of the moment. I told wifey that I continue to be amazed at the young people who just go out and follow their dreams and KP is a good example of getting after it. Like LL Cool J sayz, "If you want to be successful at something; ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?" HOLLA

You Know You're Out of Shape When.....

You take 4th place in co-ed tennis at the Las Vegas Corporate Challenge.

The fact that all matches were played in one day/night was tough on me. I'm in golf shape - this requires always being nattily attired, and having an ample belly indicative of "the good life." Playing 4 tennis matches in one day (on top of already playing golf in the heat of the day)? Right now pretty much everything hurts.

The first match started at 6pm - the sun was still high in the sky and it was around 95 degrees - add another 10 degrees for being on the concrete court. After winning the first match, dizzy, I wandered over to the other side of the court wanting to vomit and just feint - I didn't care. The 2nd match started right away, then we had a nice long layoff heading into the semifinals. We got hammered in the semi-finals - too much lounging around and making wisecracks caught up with me.

By the time they had us play for 3rd place I had pretty much mailed it in. My feet were aching, my back hurt and I couldn't feel my hair.

To top it off, I managed to lose my cell phone - my tether to the outside world. My link to everything that is Keith. Alec and I sped back to the courts at 930pm and searched in the dark. I'll have to call the joint tomorrow. Stuff happens.

Home now kicking myself for losing. I hate to lose so I'll just blame it all on my partner. Nah, she was great. We had a lot of fun and I hope we play again next year. We both need to work on some things so it will be fun to see our improvement.

Hey, at least we finished in the top 1/4 of the event and it added points to our overall standings. Holla.

Blogged Out?

Since I've joined Twitter and Facebook, I must confess that my blogging has definitely taken a hit. Blogging is like having to write a paper in class - it takes a while to put the thing together. For me, this means it's gotta be just so. Clean writing, funny content and good pictures copied in from google images. Twitter is so easy and fast. Plus I get to follow all my hip hop posse like Rev Run, Snoop Dogg, Shaq, and Kanye (who is a terrible singer by the way - what is he thinking?).

Facebook is somewhere in the middle. I can post something on FB and it stays around for a while.

Blogging.....I love to do it, but at times I feel like I have writers block. It's easier to just plop down on the couch and watch TV or flip open the laptop adn surf untill 3am (yeah, sick I know).

Some cool things on the horizon...

Kids are coming to town for Mother's Day. Alec and Tiffany are driving down on Friday for a long weekend. Tiff flies back on Sunday, and Alec will spend a few extra days here in LV. We're going to play golf and he's going to get his med school applications knocked out.

Sunday is Mothers Day of course and it's also my mother's 71st birthday. She is in amazing shape. She loves to take a nice long walk each day and loves to cook for her grandsons.

I played client golf this week. This is always an interesting day on the links. Usually the people are take to play get out a couple of times a year - that's it. "When's the last time you guys played?" I asked, walking up to the first tee.
"With you. Last year."

Uh oh. This was going to be a long round.

Surprisingly, the gang wasn't that bad. We ended up having a great time. They knew to pick up the ball and keep play moving along. When they hit balls into ponds, backyards, and bushes, instead of issuing an Amber Alert trying to find their lost golf balls they just dropped a new ball and moved on. PERFECT!

We didn't keep an official score, but I'm pretty sure I shot a 78 with a nice birdie on 18. Watch out Davey.

Corporate Challenge continues next week for me.....coed tennis. I opted out on the singles only because one of he younger fella's wanted a crack at it. I granted him his wish. Plus, it's starting to get really hot out here. 90 degrees and singles? No thanks. Not anymore.


Watching Lakers-Rockets now. I'm basically sick of the NBA, but I'd like to see LeBron win the title. The guy looks like he is having a blast playing basketball for a living. He's always laughing and high-fiving his teammates and fans which is so nice compared to the cardboard cutout figures that usually grace ESPN highlights; golfers who don't smile and walk around the course with a permanent scowl etched on their face, tennis players who don't smile or laugh and act like 5 year olds in Toys 'R Us when calls don't go their way, and then of course, baseball players. Apparently it is considered poor sportsmanship to hit a home run and be happy about it. Should one celebrate a home run with too much exhuberance, it is incumbent upon the pitcher of the opposing team to throw alittle heat up near the head of the guy who hit the home run and was stupid enough to be happy about it. I just don't get it.

That's why I like the NFL. Offensive players make up dance moves to use when they score a touchdown. Even if the NFL wants to curtail these celebrations, I'm all for them. College football also has great tradition and people who laugh, smile and act like they are having a good time. Nothing beats college football for that. I just wish the refs would let the kids show off alittle after scoring a td.

Look at stock car racing - why is it so popular? Because fans have the opportunity to meet their favorite drivers who actually pose with them for pictures and SMILE. they sign stuff, and BS with people. No wonder their fan base keeps growing.

Lakers up by 13. Doesn't look good for the Rockets? And where is McGrady? The guy is getting paid some $17 million bucks a year and is on the sidelines in a suit?

Loser.

Ramblings

The NFL draft is taking place this weekend. I left at noon to play golf and knew I would miss much of the first round - which is too boring for words to describe. Why teams get so much time between selections is annoying. Anyway, I was very happy with the eagles two selections today: Jeremy Maclin and LeSean McCoy. Maclin is a speedy wide receiver and return genius, and McCoy is a shifty running back. Our offense will be off the charts good next year.

Golf today was outstanding. Dixon and Shay had come down from Cedar City yesterday so Dixon was able to join Wade and I for golf. I was worried about the dreaded wind, but it flared up on only about 2 holes - that's it. Davey honored us by showing up on the 15th hole and attempted to go birdie-birdie-birdie-birdie. It didn't happen. I didn't shoot that well, but in the end, the only thing that mattered was that I played well enough to beat Wade. I hate to lose, and last week I lost the title by one shot. Getting the belt back today was sweet vindication for me. I have to take out some clients next week and also have to schedule my match play event with Archie who has been patient while I work on getting my doggone shoulder to quite aching. My back is good - it's fine actually. I have just learned to take care of it better now. No crazy lifting refrigerators anymore or moving furniture all by myself. Plus I stretch a couple of times each day and always in between golf shots. I'm sort of pathetic on the golf course - always hitting up my golf buddies for advil and then asking them to walk on my back.....sans cleats. They're okay with the advil, not so much on the back massage part though. I'll try Craigslist.

In the past week, Alec finished his MCAT exam and now awaits his score. Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock. That test is torture. We were in Salt Lake City a couple of weeks ago and I picked up one of the MCAT study guides - It could have just as easily been a Chinese novel. I laughed out loud at how hard the questions were.

We're excited to be able to speak to Jake on Mothers Day wich is 2 weeks away. The NFL draft this weekend, the Kentucky Derby the first Saturday in May and then Mother's Day. My cup runneth over.

Janae was flipping throught Time Magazine tonight (I know). She came what I thought to be an interesting blurb on the greenie movement. "Going Green? In the broadest sense, the greenest home is the one that has already been built." There you have it simple, to the point and impossible to refute that logic. Nice one Janae.

We took my mom to see Kenny Rogers last night at the Orleans. He can still sing, but his plastic surgery a few years ago messed him up pretty good. Even though our seats were in the 4th row, my mom brought binoculars so she could check out his face up close.

This is my life.

Corporate Challenge Update: Track and Field

Let's not forget about the corporate challenge folks.

Next week I'm entered in the following events (my wife is laughing out loud by the way):

100 meter sprint
Shot Put
Softball Toss (I guess the javelin toss proved to be too dangerous)

My last sprint race was in Jamaica in '05. I lost to one of the stable boys at the horse ranch in Bluefields. My first step was good, explosive to be sure, and then I sort of ran out of gas by the 3rd step, kicked it into another gear and finished strong barely losing out. The kid was scared I would beat him.

I've never done the shot put before in my life, but I have watched it on TV a couple of times. Can't be that hard.

As for the softball toss, get out the gold medal because no one will beat me in this event. After my shoulder surgery a few years back I've been able to throw everything from water balloons to frisbees with exceptional distance and accurancy. Ask anyone I've been to the beach with - my passes on the deep fade route into the surf were spot on this past summer. I will throw my arm out if I have to to win this event.

The good news is that all of the events are age restricted. This means I'll be competing against other old fat guys in the 45-49 year old bracket. Of course there's the off chance that some real runner-fitness freak will show up. In that case, I'll just have to bump him out of his lane. I'm not too worried about it.

I opted out of the flag football game tonight. The potential for me to forget my age and act like I'm 20 is everpresent and I'm still not 100% after my softball injuries. Another week to heal the ankle and knee for the track and field competition is needed.

I'll post pictures next week.

Easter Weekend in Salt Lake City

We spent Easter weekend in Salt Lake City visiting Alec and Tiffany, eating our way around the city, and watching nearly every shot of The Masters.

The Masters was thrilling and even non-golfers like Tiffany and Janae couldn't resist watching the drama unfold - especially late Sunday afternoon when Tiger and Phil went head-to-head, and then a 3-man playoff of no-names finally decided the outcome.

Of the three guys in the playoff, I was okay with 2 of them winning - Cabrera or Perry. If Chad Campbell, who played at UNLV, won, I would have quit watching golf forever. Professional golfers are a boring lot to begin with and none is more robotic or uncharismatic than Campbell. His facial expressions never changed. His mopey walk is maddening to watch and I can't stand the fact that he wore a white golf shirt 4 days in a row. Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised. His sponsor? Jani King - a commercial cleaning company. Snooze. Couldn't his agent round up at least a Denny's deal or a JC Penny gig? Jani King?

The 2009 Masters won't be known so much for Cabrera winning but for Perry choking - he bogeyed the last 2 holes in regulation to fall into a three-way tie. I give the guy props for playing stellar golf for 70 holes, but when it came time to close it out, he choked. It was hard to watch. He reminded me of Steve on so many occasions.

El Pato



That Cabrera won was cool. The fact that he said that the Masters was one of the top 10 tournaments in the world had to make the Augusta members flush with anger. Top 10? What a dis. Cabrera's nickname is El Pato. Translation: The Duck. No doubt he's on his way to Argentina to celebrate with friends and family. This guy has a personality and I'll be cheering for him in the next major golf tournament, the US Open - which he won in 2007.

We heard from Jake today which is his normal day to write home. He's been in Guayaquil, Ecuador for several weeks now and is really enjoying the city. It's considerably bigger than the other areas he has served in and the living conditions are superior to what he's had up until now. We're excited to talk to him on Mothers Day next month. As usual, we'll have a good sized crew here to pass the phone around and give everyone a chance to talk to Jake-Jake. It will be our last call until we see him. Holla!


As is customary any trip to Salt Lake requires a visit to Crown Burger, Flemings, Rio Grande Cafe and The Pub. Alas, we didn't have enough meals to get to all of these places, but we did manage to have a kick ass brunch at The Grand America on Easter Sunday. The spread they put out is fantastic.

Alec and I also managed to squeeze in the final few episodes of 24: Season 5, and the first 5 episodes of Season 6. I absolutely love that show.

Need to find out when my next corporate challenge event will be. I'm nearly healed from softball.

A Day at the Dog Park

When I got home from work on Tuesday I wanted to take Zeus and Ray-Ray to the dog park. They love getting out of the house and going for rides in the car, and we recently introduced them to the dog park.

For those who don't know, dog park's are areas within certain parks in Las Vegas that are fenced in for canines to run around in, get some exercise, and play with other dogs. The parks are a great idea since they confine the dogs to a specific area so they want distrupt family picnics, youth soccer games, or swipe balls and frisbee's from people just wanting to enjoy being outdoors.

Even the design of the parks are good - doggie water fountains, a double gate so no one can lose control of their own dog, slip and allow the gate not to close while the dogs make a run for it. Nope, with two gates, the dogs are secure. They even have plastic bag dispensers attached to the chain link fence so you can clean up after your dog does it's business.

This would be our 2nd trip to the park in about a week. The dogs were excited to just be leaving the house.

Alas, this 2nd trip to the park would also our last trip to the park.

Zeus more than Ray-Ray is an indoor dog even though they both get mud bathes at Snooty Pets. Before you scoff, it's a few bucks more but they smell really good.

And so what we thought would be a fun late afternoon walk in the park turned into a circus.

At first, there were only a handlful of dogs, and they were all getting to know each other the only way dogs know how. Sniffing each others back side. I know, it's disgusting. Good thing we humans opt for a handshake, hug with a double pat on the back, high five, knuckle bump, kiss or any combination of the aforementioned. Thankfully, sniffing never caught on.

As more dogs showed up, we found ourselves completely unprepared for the sort of nefarious canines who are apparently regulars at the dog park.

Wanting to fit in and be social, I struck up a conversation with a guy name George. George told me he was from NY. I was shocked. Hardly. His accent, countenance and verbal machete confirmed to me that he HAD to be from NY. Fogetabouit.

Geroge owned a bulldog, Fortune. Bulldogs are surely one of the sorriest looking dogs God ever created. Bulldogs have a severe underbite and their lower teeth poke out - they look like cartoon dogs. George liked to take long drags on his cigarette and complain about everything under the sun. I had to get away from this guy. Other people showed up with their dogs and remarkably, not one dog even remotely resembled another dog. 15-20 dogs and they all were drastically different in appearance.

Our little Zeus had fun chasing the other dogs around until some big mixed breeds showed up with their owners. Aside from all the strange looking dogs is the fact that the owners themselves are stranger looking than their canine companions (except us of course).

Being relative newcomers to the dog park world we were wary of how Zeus and Ray-Ray would get along with some of the larger breeds. Last week? No problems. There were a bunch of labs who smelled the treats in my pocket and followed me around like the pied piper and completely ignored our dogs. This week was different - these mixed breed dogs were the canine equivalent of prison convicts out on break. Zeus gave them what for with his bark but instead of backing down like most dogs, Zeus found himself INSIDE THE MOUTH of one of the big dogs. All hell was breaking loose but the dogs owner was competely oblivious to the havoc going around right at his feet. At least 1/2 dozen dogs had joined the melee, and poor Zeus was soaked in dog saliva. Not only did he look like crap, he smelled like it. Zeus quite literally had the crap scared out of him.

The best analogy I could come up with was this: Taking our little pampered indoor dogs to the dog park was like taking our kids down to the Clark County Detention Center (aka Jail) and allowing them to play with the inmates for an hour.

Zeus Before and After